Dear Anxiety,
You made my high school career a living hell. I woke up every morning just picturing how bad my day will go. You were a trickster. Tricking me into thinking I was the smallest person on this planet sucked. You drove me to switch schools, and to start over. Remember all of those presentations I took zeros for? Remember the lunches I skipped? Remember how afraid I was to ask for help? Remember the sleepless nights? You made me tired all the time. Some days I couldn’t even get out of bed.
The negative thoughts you gave me were the worst. You never made me feel positive about anything. Any situation I was in, you made me picture the worst possible outcome. I couldn't hang onto a positive thought for more than 3 seconds. Nothing could calm down my racing thoughts. My brain was a jumbled mess 24/7. The sweating, the trembling, the nausea you gave me during public speaking was embarrassing. You gave me absolutely no courage. I could never be myself, no one knew who I was.
When you were with me, everyone was staring at me, noticing every little thing I did. I don’t miss the constant feeling of judging you put on me. Just the thought of having to speak to anyone on the phone, face someone, or even walk on the street stressed me out beyond levels. The feeling you gave me like I was being watched was not cool. You followed me everywhere. I missed out on most high school football games because of you. You made me miss so many opportunities to make more friends. You drove me to quite a sport that I loved because I couldn’t perform in front of crowds anymore. Speaking my opinions was not an option for me. So many things were bottled in my head and were ready to explode at any moment.
Well anxiety, it’s been six months since I got diagnosed with your irritating disorder. I feel so much better without you. You were the only thing slowing me down from doing things that I loved. Now that I’m a freshman in college without you, I have a voice. I speak my opinions and share my thoughts and ideas. I can finally get a good night sleep. I would’ve never had the courage to write this letter a year ago. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities and you’re to blame. In high school, I didn't know who I was becoming, but now I know exactly who I am. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and I'm ready to start my day. I want to go to class. I want to have conversations with my professors. I want to meet new people. The amount of motivation I have now is unreal. I am a changed person and I do not miss you, anxiety.
Sincerely,
A happy college student
