The airport is typically not a place anyone wants to be after taking a multitude of final exams. It is more crowded than usual which means long lines to deal with and screaming children to drown out. They drown out quite quickly however because though you may have put headphones in you have not pressed play because your brain has been occupied. The thoughts that occur as you walk through an airport is all you need to cheer you up this holiday season.
- Here we go. Another airport trip. Hopefully I don’t get searched this time.
- Why are you taking so long to take off your shoes?
- The man is waving for you to go through the machine my friend.
- Oh no. Did I leave [insert forbidden carry on item] in my bag?
- Do they see me naked in the x-ray machine?
- Phew...no alarm.
- Move out of my way please…you’re going too slow.
- How far will I have to walk? This place is a maze (O’hare).
- I should have gone to school closer to home.
- Where is this gate? I hope I don’t look absolutely clueless.
- I think I turned the wrong way back there.
- Back through this big hallway I guess.
- Hopefully no one recognizes me.
- Okay I am in the Bs and I have to go to C1.
- How big is this airport?
- I’m kind of hungry. Hopefully there is food on the way.
- Starbucks. Starbucks. Starbucks. Do they serve anything else?
- McDonalds. Pizza. Ice Cream. Smoothies.
- OOO, a sandwich place. Good thing there isn’t a long line.
- Now that I have food I should probably head to my gate.
- That’s a pretty sculpture.
- That’s a pretty man. Are you my future husband?
- My feet hurt.
- How much farther?
- Thank goodness, that sign said Concourses C are up ahead.
- OMG. Of course it starts at C10. Thank goodness there is a moving walkway.
- 10 more gates to go. What is that person wearing?
- 8 more gates to go. Hold onto your child you imbecile.
- 6 more gates to go. I like that outfit..
- 4 more gates to go. How does she look so put together right now?
- 2 more gates to go. He does not look happy.
- Wow, I am so close. Wait, I have to use the bathroom.
- Of course I didn’t think about it until I was close. Why can’t they put more bathrooms around here!?
- I saw one back at C5. Back the way I came.
- There’s the bathroom up ahead.
- Why are these stalls so small?
- I will never understand why they have the stall doors go inwards.
- Don’t. Touch. The. Toilet.
- Wait…what is this plastic thing? How does it..
- Wow it’s moving.
- Okay, so I can sit.
- …I really had to go.
- Okay back to my gate, I hope there are seats so I can put everything down.
- 1 more gate to go. I’m never bringing a carry on again.
- Finally I am here. Of course there are no seats to rest after that walk.
- My phone is going to die.
- Quick, find an outlet! It’s at 1 percent.
- Why don’t they have more outlets in an airport?!
- There’s one!! Now to scoot by this old guy..
- Sorry, sorry, sorry…
- Phew…made it.
- I wonder where half these people think I am going.
- Maybe someone famous will walk through and sit next to me.
- Okay Wifi, I got here 2 hours early…I need something to do.
- Does this really say I have to pay for longer than an hour of use?
- Well looks like I’ll do this for an hour.
- I could do homework…
- That kid is definitely in college. He’s sporting his school head to toe.
- He even has a pillow with the logo.
- And a water bottle.
- Awe, look at this old couple. They are goals.
- At that age, I WILL be traveling the world with someone and someone else will sit in my shoes and say I am goals.
- *an hour goes by with the internet open*
- Has it really already been an hour? There goes my internet, I didn’t even use it.
- Can we board now?
- This man is speaking very loudly on the phone.
- I could not have gone another minute without knowing his plans for the night.
- Why won’t anyone text me?
- I wish I could look like that woman: all put together.
- Oh look, finally boarding.
- *boarding rows 1-10* Great I am row 37.
- *boarding rows 11-25* I will be last as usual
- *boarding all rows* There’s a line of crazed human looking animals. I’ll wait.
- Relax people, your seat will be there when you get on.
- Here’s my ticket, ticket lady.
- Okay what seat was I again? 37B.
- 37B.
- Wait, 37 or 27?
- 37B. Of course I am between two big guys.
- Excuse me sir. Thanks.
- What if I got over the intercom like she does in Bridesmaids?
- Maybe I’ll do homework on the flight?
- HA. I’ll probably look out the window past the big guy and listen to music pretending I am in a sad movie scene.
- I am glad I went to the bathroom before; this guy isn’t going to move during the flight.
- “All passengers have been boarded. The door is closing.”
- I should probably text everyone and say I am boarded.
- I’ll add an “I love you” to my family in case I crash.
- Maybe I’ll pay attention to the safety guidelines this time just as a precaution.
- Never mind, I am bored already.
- We won’t crash. It’s actually very rare.
- This flight is going to suck.
- Bye [insert name of departing city]. See you next time.
- I’ll see you again. I just need a little home.
Maybe I am the only one. Who knows. Share any that you think may be popular among the traveling crowd! I'm sure we all have something along the same lines.
Safe travels!
