There is an evil in the world, faced by many as they sit with pen and paper or an open laptop. We call it “Writer’s Block.” It comes at the worst possible times, like when a paper is due or an article must be written. It strikes, leaving its victims stressed and frustrated. Side effects of Writer’s Block include late nights, anger, loss of control of your own tongue leading to nasty comments said to friendly faces, and the dreaded empty page. It doesn’t care who its victims are, nor does it care what’s going on in your life. Its only goal is to keep you from getting any constructive writing done.
As a college student, I’ve had to deal with my fair share of Writer’s Block. Here is my fail-proof guide to surviving this terrible affliction.
1. Procrastination.
The first step is to put off whatever you have to write until the very last minute. Tell yourself that you’re brainstorming and trying to find a topic to write on. Read a book. Scroll through your Facebook and Twitter feeds. Become outraged at a social issue. Make yourself a sandwich. Pet a dog. Then come back to your project and try and figure out a plan.
2. Realize you have made a mistake in procrastinating.
Freak out. Realize you should have been actively searching for a subject instead of ignoring the problem of your Writer’s Block. If you feel the need, spend some time crying about it a little bit. Remember that you did this to yourself by procrastinating so long on this project.
3. Frantically search for a topic.
Look back through your last few days and search for some kind of inspiration. By this point in the process, anything will do. Remember that dog you pet a couple days ago? Write a research paper on its breed. Mention its cute little nose and super soft fur. Perhaps realize that this won’t work for the psychology paper you have to write. Keep thinking.
4. Start writing.
Hopefully by this stage you will have picked a topic, but if you’re just starting to write and hoping something comes out of it, that works too. Use a boring, cookie-cutter opening statement and cross your fingers that you can work some magic with it in the very little time you have left. Write as fast as you can, and don’t worry too much if the sentences you’re putting together actually work well together. By now, you’re going to have to make do with what you have.
5. Finish the job.
Pull through; you’ve got this. By the end of your project you should have some idea of what you said. If you rambled and are not really sure what you said due to the lack of a solid idea, then close with a generic statement that could be applied to any number of things. Something like, “And that’s why I think that.” It’ll have to do.
Now, you have created a piece of writing that you may not be proud of, but at least it’s done. Just keep telling yourself that Writer’s Block may have won this round, but it won’t always be victorious. Maybe next time, this wretched ailment will pass you by. Only time will tell.
