Relationships are hard work. They're constantly needing to be nurtured and taken care of, they require attention and valiant efforts. In this day and age, relationships are hard to come by, everyone is using dating sites and apps for hook-ups or companionship. But no one really does it the "old-fashioned way" anymore. People don't just meet and court and commence relationships.
By using such dating apps or sites we get to control what our selection is. What their height is, their eye color, their skin tone, their age range, and vice versa with the opposite party. But rarely, rarely do people just meet by chance anymore or flirt in person before courting begins. We get to weed out what we don't want before we've even met.
But what happens when you do meet in person, by chance, and there's something? What happens then? You're completely blind for what's about to come, for what you're about to learn, for how much you're about to feel. And why can't that be okay? Why can't we just feel? Why can't we just accept?
A relationship defined as a connection, an involvement, an emotional or other connection among people, sexual or otherwise, through marriage or not. To me, a relationship is something that's grown overtime, you've watched it blossom into something that's sacred and important to you. It's a delicate balance of give and take. It's constant compromising and sacrificing.
Everyone brings something into a relationship. We all have "baggage" whether we'd like to admit it or not. Some people hide it. Some people lie about it. Some people are upfront about it. Either way, if things are moving forward, and you feel like there's potential, the "let's put everything on the table talk" is inevitable.
Opposite parties should take the time they need to accept whatever the other throws their way. Past relationships, current life situational statuses, children, age, addictions, experience, money, etc. are all things that make accepting the other that much more. But do all of those things matter when you're together? Acceptance is a gift we give and receive, and accepting the people we care about shouldn't be a chore.
Take age for instance, do you feel the difference when you're together? Does it bother you when you're out in public? Sure you're X years apart, you were in elementary school when they were in high school? Who cares? You've grown into people, adults even, people who should be able to put numbers aside and feel connections when they're present.
Can you feel that now, the age difference, when you're together? Are you both on a maturity level that you connect on? Do you have fun together? Do you make each other laugh? Do you care about each other? Do you love each other?
Sometimes people pull away, distance themselves while they're still in the acceptance phase. The excitement of the chase is dying out, so they use the above factors as reasoning behind their second-guessing. But is that the root? Is that the root of the problem? Are you allowing the whispers and gossips of others take away what feels good to you? Is it something you'd end your relationship over?
Most of those things are acceptable, and accepted in every day relationships. Things like age shouldn't bother anyone, if someone's not directly involved, why does their opinion matter? Why are you letting their opinion matter?
If it's the outside world that you're worried about or festering in, don't. There are far worse things happening in the world than genuinely caring for someone, perhaps loving them. The judgements placed on you by others are only false projections of their own realities, don't take it personally.
If it's something else you're hiding from, something more than just a factor like age, be honest about it. Don't hide from your own emotions or sit in denial and blame it on a number. That only leads to more turmoil and makes things far more complicated than they need to be. That's not fair to anyone involved. Be honest, everyone deserves that.
Past relationships teach us about heartbreak, they allow us to pick up all our pieces and realize that we were all there all along. Life status is something we all struggle with, some of us are tied down, some are free as a bird, as long as we're working towards something we want, is that a reason to fault one another? Experience comes with age, and age is just a number; a number that shouldn't matter. Just because people experience more or less than the other doesn't mean that feelings can't be understood, practice empathy. We're all living our lives, right now, and they're all full of different experiences.
Like I said, relationships are hard and messy and require work. We all bring things to the table; the good, the bad and the ugly, but don't use someone else's baggage as an excuse to keep you from moving forward. If you're having a good time, if you're feeling happy, why are you harping over things you can't control? Why deprive yourself of this? Don't let the rust tarnish the potential. Accept and trust that everything will be okay.
