In the days leading up to February 14, I found myself bombarded with pink candy and paper hearts. February 14 comes once every year, so I had already mentally prepared myself for the Valentine’s Day frenzy, but I had not prepared myself for the seething hatred towards the holiday I encountered from some of my single friends. I understand why they take issue with the holiday, but I also think some of the most interesting parts of Valentine’s Day get totally ignored. Thus far in my 18 years of existence I have been presented with two responses to being single on Valentine’s Day. They are as follows:
- You may be single and wishing you weren’t. This means Valentine’s Day is a day to eat chocolate ice cream, watch romantic comedies and wallow in your singleness.
- You’re single, but instead of wallowing, you replace self-pity with an ironic hatred of the holiday. This includes hating the pink frills, the commercialized nature, the candy and the naked cherubs. It’s a disgusting holiday.
Maybe I haven’t been observant enough, but I’ve seen my fair share of romantic comedies, and these seem to be the two most common philosophies. I happen to disagree fundamentally with aspects of both of these approaches and would like to suggest a different approach to Valentine’s Day.
First of all, let’s take a moment to appreciate the history behind Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day dates back to the 5th Century when February 14 was set aside to honor the various Valentine’s that had become martyrs. The most famous of these martyrs was St. Valentine of Rome who was imprisoned for performing marriages for soldiers against the will of their superiors and ministering to those persecuted by the Roman Empire. Regardless of how you feel about Valentine’s Day, you have to admit that St. Valentine himself is someone to admire.
Valentine’s Day didn’t even become associated with romantic love until the publication of Chaucer’s poetry in the 14th century. The first romantic reference to Valentine’s Day can be found in his poem Parliament of Fowls which references works by the Roman philosopher and writer Cicero.
One point often raised against Valentine’s Day is the sweeping commercialism that seems to have taken over the holiday. I won’t argue that commercialism hasn’t taken over the holiday. The original meaning of Valentine’s Day has been shrouded by mass-produced boxes of chocolate and Hallmark cards. I would, however, like to point out that this argument could be raised against almost any Holiday we celebrate in America. Take a look at Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas, just to name a few. I think the issue lies with consumers, rather than the nature of the holiday.
Call me naive, or cliche, but I like the idea that we have a day dedicated to expressing our love for others. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, I don’t think you have to subscribe to either of the traditional approaches. I’m not advocating for totally buying into the holiday. I’m simply suggesting that we set aside our presuppositions about what Valentine’s Day should be and consider it in the future with an open mind as a day to celebrate love and friendship.
