So, I have been struggling with writing. I know I have things to say and passions to share, but I am not entirely sure what to do. Instead, I have spent a good time staring at a blank screen terrified to type out words.
Finally, I had to sit with myself and ask, "Why?" (Also, I had to realize that I talk to myself a lot and it is kind of weird.) Well, there were a few reasons, but the main one was that I fear being real. I was/am terrified to share my voice and thoughts in fear of being mocked, criticized, or being labeled, "the girl that talks about..."
In fact, I was allowing my fear of being me was causing me to be uncomfortable in all situations and try and be something that everybody wanted. I tried to write about things I could care less about, and some people made it very clear that they could care less. However, today during my internship my supervisor shared that the reason I stood out was that I was real.
I was 100 percent, unapologetically me. I shared my good and my bad with a woman I barely knew because I wanted who I truly was to be shown in all that I did. I talked about all of the ugly in my life and then shared my passions that are unlike any other person. I was real.
It is so easy to get caught up in editing yourself to others so that you become who you think you should be. However, the thing is that you won't be what others think you should be, and that doesn't matter. What matters is that you become real. That you do not hold back on the unique things that make you, who you are because of fear.
While you are being real you will find things about yourself. Some of those things are great and will help you pretty much slay, and some of those things you will realize will need to be changed. However, that's the beauty of being real. You have to be willing to fall on your face and make a fool of yourself. However, while you are taking those risks you won't always fail and you will make impacts that nobody else could do.
So, my dear friend. Don't get so caught up and changing yourself and all that you do for those around you. Yes, life is to be lived for more than just yourself. I strongly believe that we live for so much more than ourselves. However, how can you do that while you pretend to be somebody else? So, before I say a cliche phrase about there being only one you I want to leave you with this. When you are real with yourself you can really do some amazing things.