I'm Afraid Of The Real World And I'm Not Afraid To Admit It

I'm Afraid Of The Real World And I'm Not Afraid To Admit It

Does post-grad life come with a 3-month free trial?
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If we're being totally honest, I still don't see myself as much of an adult.

I'm only 19, I still live in a dorm at Villanova University where I pay for a meal plan, and I'm first and foremost a student. Legally, I have to sign my own papers and I'm allowed to vote, but other than that, my "adulting" responsibilities don't stretch very far.

And thank God.

I am terrified of entering this so-called "real world" where I have to pay my own bills and find a job and not go broke and cook all my own food. If "High School Musical" lied to me about what high school is truly like, what's stopping any other movie or TV show from lying to me about how big of an apartment I can afford with a crappy salary?

What if I end up in a job that's completely wrong for me and I never can escape? What if everything I studied in school doesn't even remotely prepare me for what I want my career to be? Are your first years out of college just like your freshman year of college?

You know, where you take all of the core classes before you can start really getting into it. How long am I going to have to wait before I start doing the things that make me happy?

Does post-grad life come with a 3-month free trial? Is there a discount code for rent in New York City?

This realization is really coming as all my friends begin to turn 20. 20?! That seems far too old. Once you're 20, you're a real person. No more messing up and blaming it on the fact that you're a stupid teenager and that you're learning. No, I am not ready for my twenties. I'm a college sophomore but I feel like I just graduated high school yesterday.

I'm avoiding the real world at all costs, and I'm not afraid to go to grad school to do it. My bank account, however, is terrified. I'm gonna stick to being a student for as long as I possibly can. I want to keep learning before I dive in head first. I can try to act like an adult, but I feel like everyone around me sees right through the facade.

At this point in my college career, I can barely imagine myself as an intern, let alone a working professional. I feel like I'm a toddler trying to fit into big kid shoes, and I'm not hiding it well. I'm scared of the real world and I'm not afraid to admit it.

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25 Things I'd Rather Do Than Work Over Spring Break

An extra week to catch up on money you've spent on half-priced apps.
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Realizing you have to work during Spring Break in college is like that time you figured out recess doesn't exist past middle school.

1. Fail out of community college.
2. Watch my bf play Fortnite 12 hours straight.
3. Sit behind home plate and get hit with a foul ball.
4. Be completely clueless about Greek life and show up to a male-only rush event.
5. Give up wine for the rest of my life.
6. Listen to my Kenyan professor explain how to get to Kenya everyday for another semester.
7. Change my name to Helga.
8. Get banned from Chick-Fil-A.
9. Babysit the girl off "Rings".
10. Eat salad everyday and gain weight.
11. Show up at an American themed party in a North Korean Shirt.
12. Be in a firework stand and someone light a cigarette.
13. Have a Chaco strap bust five miles into a hike.
14. Major in political science at a liberal college.
15. Have my front teeth knocked out.
16. Cut my own bangs again.
17. Register for Farmersonly.com.
18. Change my major for the seventh time.
19. Have another parking ticket appeal denied.
20. Mistake chewing tobacco for jerky chew and one-bite the whole can.
21. Be the girl that Cardi B thinks I said I would do something to her.
22. Go swimming in the middle of winter.
23. Wear a nylon, spaghetti strap tank top past 2010.
24. Have parent-teacher conferences in college.
25. Have my professor tell my mom she's never seen me before at the conference.
Cover Image Credit: Cosmopolitan

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5 Things I Learned My Freshman Year Of College

Almost everyone’s favorite year of college.
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Almost everyone’s favorite year of college. You meet tons of new people, your workload isn’t as heavy, you’re eating tons of food, and you’re happy… for now.

1. Not all the people you meet are going to be your best friend forever

Suddenly, you have a great group of friends that you study and go out with. You think these people are going to be at your wedding. But unfortunately, not all friendships last a lifetime. Like everyone says, as you get older, you realize who your true friends are.

2. School is way more important than partying

I wish I realized how important academics were my freshman year. I should have woke up for that 9 am class, instead of thinking I could catch up on my own and still get an A. I should’ve picked studying over a hang out I could attend any other day.

3. You will get that hangover

I was blessed with not waking up to a hangover every weekend. I thought I was invincible and I could drink all day/night long with no regrets. I ended up waking up to a hangover and throwing up in a bathroom at brunch.

4. Coffee is your life

Somewhere between all those late nights and early mornings, you fell in love.

5. It’s time to grow up

I realized that I was on my own in college and it was up to me to get my life together. I can't rely on my parents to do everything for me. I had to learn how to do things on my own and make good decisions.

Cover Image Credit: @brandymelvilleusa

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