In 1995, 41 percent of Americans thought that racism was a big issue in America. By 2015, that number had risen 8 percent, which goes to show that race relations are just as bad, if not worse, than they were 20 years ago. However, the number of interracial couples has gotten to an all-time high in the last decade with the current rate being 1 in every 12 relationships. Those numbers are pretty staggering being that interracial marriage wasn't even legal until about 50 years ago.
For those who are romantically involved with someone outside of their race, it may be a difficult position to be in. Constantly feeling as if one must justify their relationship and getting questions like “Well, what’s wrong with people of your own race?” can get tiring. Also, living in a world that claims to be “post racial” while simultaneously getting certain types of reactions based on your partner can cause one to be confused. So, what is one to do if they find themselves in a position where they have to defend their relationship to their friends, family, and colleagues? The answer is never simple. All interracial couples deal with their own level of external racism. However, there is one major principle that may help through the harder times in an interracial relationship... I spoke with an interracial couple from Vallejo, California to get their personal insight on interracial couples. Arro, a black man, and Mai, a Samoan woman, shared their experiences while dating a person outside their race.
People’s opinions are just that. Opinions.
If you are lucky enough to have found someone that you love, try not to place so much value in other's opinions. Just because they are trapped in a set way of thinking does not mean you should diminish your happiness or question your relationship. This goes for your parents, close friends, siblings, etc. Anyone who cares for your well-being will understand that your happiness is more important than their prejudice. Arro from Vallejo, California gave his feelings on the fact that his mother doesn't approve of his relationship saying, “It hurts my feelings. My whole life I thought my mom was a certain type of way. And that is not how she is. It’s really hurtful, and it doesn’t make sense.” As younger generations are more open-minded and united, we may find it shocking when our parents do not have the same views as we do. However, it is important to realize that people live life from their perspectives, and there isn't much you can do about it but do what makes you feel fulfilled.The biggest thing to understand in an interracial relationship is that it is not your job to defend or justify your love. If people cannot understand that you are happy, then those people do not have your best interest at heart. Arro’s girlfriend, Mai, expressed this point-of-view perfectly when asked what she thinks her boyfriend’s mother’s view of their relationship means for their future. “She’ll eventually get over the fact that I’m not Black. Once she understands that her son is happy and I’m not going anywhere, she’ll really have no choice.” Mai was quoted saying. The fact of the matter is, you may lose friends over your relationship. But were they really your friends if they can’t accept your life choices?
