As a kid, I remember looking at eighteen year olds and thinking that they looked so mature. They seemed to have so much freedom and to really have their lives together.

Now that I’m at that age, I realize that the latter part could not be farther from the truth. However, as an eight year old, I envisioned that the eighteen year old Brianna would be sophisticated, stylish, and social. That she would have so many interesting friends from all over and she would be able to eat cookies whenever she wanted.

Younger me used to wonder and even worry a lot about what the future would hold. If I could go back and talk to Brianna ten years ago, this is what I would say:

1. Everything will be just fine:

I’d tell younger Brianna the cliche truth that everything would be just fine. You will grow up, and you will make mistakes. But, most importantly, you will live, and in the end, things that you spent a lot of time worrying about while growing up would turn out just fine.

2. Love your parents:

“Love your parents, we are often so busy growing up, we forget that they are growing old” is a quote I’ve seen online again and again. It is one of my favorites because of the vast amount of truths it contains. Yes, quarrels with family - especially parents - tend to run deep. And yes, you often feel like your parents may not understand you. But they are the only people who have been there since day one, and they are the only people who will always truly have your best interests at heart. I would tell eight year old Brianna to have patience with mom and dad, no matter how much you think they don’t get you, and to spend as much time with them as possible. They love you a lot, let them show it.

3. Learn as much as you can, and then learn some more:

You love school. Continue that. Don’t ever lose that. Knowledge is the one thing no one in this world can ever take away from you. After all, once something is in your head, no one can take it out. You have the time now, spend a little less of it with your Tamagotchi and a little more of it challenging yourself in the subjects you don’t necessarily enjoy. It will make you so much sharper and make life easier down the line.

4. Popularity means nothing:

Growing up, you want to fit in, it’s natural. But popularity literally evaporates the moment you graduate. The honest truth is that changing yourself will never make them like you more, it will only make you like yourself less. Just focus on yourself. The social hierarchies of elementary, middle, and high school are good practice for later, but treat it as just that. Don’t get too down if you say or do the wrong thing, and don’t feel defined by the number of party invites you receive.

5. Love who you are:

It was tough not looking like anyone around you. Even tougher not acting like them either. Embrace it. Don’t let the peer pressure allow you to shrink yourself so you fit in. Wear your afro. Raise your hand in class. Rock your African dresses. Other kids are just as unsure about themselves as you are. Be the one to set trends and if anyone has anything negative to say about it, just walk away. There opinions are only as relevant as you let them be.

6. Devote yourself to whatever you do:

You probably would have been better at soccer if you’d just put in the hours of practice. Same with softball. And math. Don’t give up so easily. Just like the things you’re good at - it took time and effort. Just because you don’t see results in a few weeks doesn’t mean you won’t ever be good at it. Just keep trying, as early and consistently as possible. Besides, it's good to have different interests, it makes you a more interesting person at a dinner party.

7. Don’t be so hard on yourself:

Own your mistakes. I know you don’t like to make them, but you are human. It's okay to mess up. Just learn from it, and don’t repeat it. Don’t spend time dwelling on everything you did wrong and letting your pillow catch your tears. Instead, focus on the positive. You are doing a lot of things right girlie, remember that. Stop being your own worst critic.

8. Not everyone is your friend:

You are shocked when someone shows their true colors. You couldn’t have imagined them treating you badly, because you know that you’d never treat them like that. Realize this truth, not everyone wants to see you prosper. People will smile in your face and talk behind your back. You can’t control what they do. What you can control is how you respond and how you let them hurt you. Take the time to sift through who is worth it and who doesn’t deserve a spot in your life.

9. Stop worrying so much:

I know you almost can’t help it. It is in your personality to overthink everything. And to an extent, it is good. It is what pushed you to look where others have missed, and put in your all. But the misery you put yourself through was not worth it, or even necessary. People aren’t thinking of you that often. You will get into a good college. Grades evaporate the moment you move to the next level. Stop worrying about how you said the wrong thing at lunch or raised your hand in class and didn’t know the answer. Everyone else forgot in two minutes, no reason to replay it in your head two hundred times.

10. Don’t hold grudges:

Live and let go. Hating people is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forget about the people who did you wrong and hurt you, karma will get them. And give people chances, just because someone messes up once, doesn’t mean they should be cut off. Your personal relationships are so much less of a headache when you just take people as they are and stop dwelling on that awful thing they said to you two weeks ago.

I always want you to remember that life is sweet and worth living. No matter how hard things seem to get, you are doing the best you can with what you know, and that’s all anyone can ask. You will grow up, you will work hard, you will achieve beyond your wildest dreams, you will make your parents proud, and you will have deeper relationships than you ever imagined. But you will also experience disappointment, heartbreak, anger, frustration, and anxiety. Don’t let these feelings dominate you. You were created much too beautiful and sweet to ever put negativity into the world. You will grow into an eighteen year old girl who still loves to read and write more than anything. And you will continue to love life. To my eight year old self, I hope I have made you proud.