Dear Younger Self,

There are so many things I wish you knew at a much younger age...

For one, sleep. Sleep long and hard. You’ll look back on your enforced 8 p.m. bedtimes and wish someone was making you to go to sleep. The irony is really wonderful. You used to throw fits and fight with mom and dad to stay up late and now at 21 you throw a fit because it's 10 p.m. and you’re still awake (though your eyes are burning from exhaustion). It’s one of those things you and all others take for granted and only recognize when you’re deprived of what you now consider the beauty that is sleep.

Tell whoever says anything about “sticks and stones” to shut it. I don’t think anything could ever make me understand how such abstract things in life could hurt so much more than say, a fall from a bike or the searing pain from a carpet burn as a child. Your skinned knees and bloody cuts are nothing compared to the internal hurt that becomes too easily inflicted by others or even by yourself at times. There aren’t any ice packs or band-aids for broken promises, hurtful words or the realization of painful truths. But never bottle up your hurt. Wear your pain beautifully and boldly and allow the emotional scar tissue to rebuild, transforming you into an even stronger person.

Put yourself first. I wish you learned how to do this a lot sooner in life. I think it could have spared us some missed opportunities and regret. I can’t be too hard on you though because to this day I still pride myself on putting others first, for always considering the thoughts and feelings of others. But look after yourself because no one has your best interest at heart as much as you do.

I'd also advise you not to be quiet. Others will want to correct your volume, to quiet your ideas. Don’t listen. Don’t you dare even try to suppress your voice or your interests and passions for the sake of others. Don’t mask your excitement due to the disinterest of others. Love what you love and love it loudly. You owe this to yourself.

Also, stop apologizing. Only do it when you hurt someone, accidentally or intentionally. Stop the unnecessary apologies because Lord knows it's a habit I am no longer capable of breaking this far in life despite the pleas of family and friends. Stop apologizing if you think you’re excitement gets to be too much. Stop apologizing for an idea or an opinion that someone might not agree with. Stop apologizing for things that are far beyond your control. Stop trying to preemptively make others feel better at the expense of yourself.

Accept and own your talents. Stay humble but don’t hide either. I always say how I wished you had stuck with some of the sports you tried out as a child a little longer. You jumped around wanting to try it all, an aspect of our personality that is also one of our strengths, but you never found that one area where you excelled. You'll feel left behind by experiences and opportunities, but I’ve now accepted the situation for what it is. See, you were created for more than that. Athleticism was one talent or skill and it never defined you as you grew up, at least not as much as you thought. You’ll never begin to imagine the images you’ll be able to construct with your words, your pencils or your paints. Take the compliments that come with grace, do not brush them aside as if you are unworthy of them, because you are. If other people can recognize your talent, why can’t you?

Don’t just let things happen to you, make things happen for you. If only someone had shared this with you sooner but, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exit.” Don’t just let life happen to you. See, do, and learn what you want to. Don’t always push things off or save them for another time. Never postpone living.

Always be kind. Your compassion and empathy are some of my favorite things about you. I think you already know that there is so much good and so much potential in you. It will be hard at times to face intolerance and rudeness with a smile, but you will be a healthier person for not letting others poison your soul. Let your laughter and your love shine brighter than the darkness you’ll find attempting to consume the society you are growing up in.

I wish you could understand earlier on how things will work out for you, for us. Know that you will do great things with your life and I hope you always strive to do so. Know how proud I am of all that you are.

Oh and by the way, you’re still alive...even though you ate all that raw cookie dough growing up (and still continue to do so). Just an FYI.

Love,

Yourself