We all know that sad bastard at the end of the bar that never has anything nice to say, not even an occasional smile... he sits there, alone, wallowing in self-pity and regret, hating his life. If you are lucky enough to get him talking, he's telling you that love is a waste of time and his kids don't talk to him, or maybe his wife ran off with his best friend since college and took the car, the house, and the dog.
It's disheartening to see him alone every night at the same time with his only friends, the bartender and the fry cook. Usually, people dismiss this man without so much as an odd look, but when you take time to sit down next to him and really listen to his story...you might actually learn something from him. I did.
1. Invest in yourself before you invest in anybody else.
You cannot expect someone to love you if you don't even love yourself. Take that extra time to be single and find out who you are and what you want and go from there.
2. Try one thing new at least once a week.
What if you love piano or hiking and you didn't even know it? What about that Indian restaurant that makes you sit on the floor? Or that you actually do enjoy your coffee with sugar in it?
3. Love wholeheartedly.
"Don't half-ass it! Be present!" is actually how he put it. Whoever it is, your neighbor, your friend, your wife, or kid... LOVE THEM FULLY. Do not miss the little things with them. Be at your sons t-ball game and thank your wife for the same dinner she's burned 14 times. Be there. Mow your neighbor's lawn for them.
4. "When you're wrong, just f**king admit it."
"I didn't do this enough... if I had, maybe she would still be here, maybe she would still love me." Pride is not worth losing relationships over. They aren't worth the anger and torment you put yourselves through just to be "right" in that moment. Own up to your mistakes... it will work out better, I promise.
5. Start saving for retirement now.
"When you're my age, you don't want to be wondering if your funds will be enough to carry you through and if you will ever have those very few years to sleep in and not know what it's like to be owned by someone else. Start saving now or you'll regret it."
6. Take every opportunity that comes your way!
This gentleman used to be the star pitcher in high school, recruited by colleges all over the nation, but threw it all away... So if an opportunity like that comes your way, a new job or experience, go!
7. Laugh.
He told me to laugh at all the minor inconveniences in life, to just let things roll off my shoulders. Wrinkles and smile lines are a beautiful thing, it means you lived life to the fullest. Do not be ashamed. Laugh at your insecurities. Laugh at your embarrassing moments, but never laugh at the expense of someone else's misfortunes.
8. Hug your mom and dad.
"They won't be around much longer for you to leech off of, so tell them you love them and that you're grateful." This is probably the best advice out of all of them. So often, we take our families and friends for granted, forgetting to say thank you when they fill up your tank or make you dinner. It is a great reminder to be more appreciative of everyone around you, to be more kind to your friends and enemies, and to love on everyone.
This gentleman showed me a little bit of his heart,and drank his scotch slowly, savoring every sip as if it might be the last. He lived his life with many regrets, but still he manages to hand over these few pieces of advice so that generations to come may not have to repeat his mistakes and feel the same pain and sorrow that he feels. I genuinely hope that these snippets of advice make their way into every home because it would make the world a much more beautiful place if we lived like this....with absolutely no regret.
