It’s never easy. It will never be easy, so let go of that idea right away. The more quickly you accept that when there’s distance, there’s inevitably some degree of suffering, the better off you’ll be. But, this raises the question: is the suffering worth it? The answer is not always “yes.” Some relationships are barely functional when the people involved are right next to each other, and those relationships are going to be just as dysfunctional when they’re thousands of miles apart. But, sometimes, if you’re one of those lucky ones who found someone you truly connect with, then fighting the battle of distance will always be worth it.
This does not mean it won’t be hard. But, I have some advice that will hopefully put your mind (and your heart) at some temporary ease.
- Be patient with each other. There will be times when your significant other won’t immediately text you back. They won’t always be able to drop everything and pick up the phone whenever you call. They won’t (and shouldn’t) wait around by the computer for you to FaceTime them. Just like you, they have a life to manage: projects, school, work, friends, family, etc. Don’t get upset when they occasionally take a long time to respond. And just think of this: when they do finally get back to you, you’ll have something fun to talk to them about!
- But still make time for each other. Yes, it’s important to be patient with not only your significant other, but also yourself. Give each other time to respond, but make sure you always eventually respond. Trust me, there’s something very comforting about knowing that no matter what, or how long it takes, you’ll always eventually hear from that person.
- Find something to trust. If you’re anything like me, you might get anxious on occasion. Your mind might play tricks on you and you might convince yourself of completely absurd (but at the time, convincing) scenarios. You have to find something to trust, and find that something as soon as possible. What do you choose to trust? That’s up to you and your relationship. It could be anything though, not just the person as a whole. You could choose to trust their kindness, your connection, or yourself and your ability to handle situations. Literally, anything! But, when you’re feeling down, anxious, or upset about the relationship, coming back to that thing you chose to trust can be very calming.
- Let yourself feel. It’s likely that you will feel a lot of indescribable, often confusing, sometimes stressful, emotions. Don’t try to describe them, and don’t try to apply meaning to them. Sometimes feelings are just feelings, and that’s all they should be. This does not mean to repress them: let them into your heart, feel them, and let them pass in due time. Emotions are valid, but they do not need to run your life, or your relationship.
- Last, but definitely not least, NEVER give up. If it’s worth fighting for, fight for it. Because trust me, when that time comes where you can wrap your significant other in your arms and just spend some quality time with them face-to-face, every moment of suffering, and all the months apart, will be well worth it.
