I am an atheist. I have never been very religious, though I have been spiritual at times. The first book I ever read was a children's bible. I have been to church many times and even bible camp one summer. Anyone you ask will tell you I am obsessed with Christmas. I know, confusing.
This is the extent of my experience with religious expression and ceremony, though, barring any brief summaries in school, so when I started dating a Jewish person, I did not know what to expect. As a naturally curious and critical person, I had many questions, much to the annoyance of my girlfriend.
When I was recently invited to join the Passover Seder I was completely out of my element and quite anxious during the drive to the house. I probably should have done some research, but I didn't even know what the Seder was about or what you did or said or ate.
When I got there, my girlfriend jokingly gave me an illustrated children's Passover book explaining the holiday. I read it. It was helpful, explaining that this was a night for remembering the exodus of the Jews from Egypt and that there would be dinner and matza hiding and breaking, but didn't go into much detail.
I resigned myself to just going with the flow, doing as they did, listening to instructions. Turns out, there actually are instructions. There was a copy of the Haggadah at every place at the table. It walked us (especially me) through the process as we all took turns reading the stories of the exodus as well as several prayers and songs.
In between some prayers or stories, we ate specific foods or drank wine that symbolized our ancestors' journey and brought us closer to their experiences, as if we had actually personally been there.
The book had at least 60 pages but as my girlfriend's family is reformed, we did not feel the need to go through every word. The whole ritual was not nearly as long as I expected it to be. In fact, I almost felt like it was too short, like I only got a taste of what it's really like.
In fact, I did only get a taste. The next morning I got to go back to my ordinary atheist life. I don't have to live as a Jewish person every day. I don't have to remember the atrocities that have plagued my people for thousands of years, or worry about how people today are still holding hate in their hearts.
I'm glad that I got to be a witness to this humbling holiday. Even though I don't have any personal connections to the story and the culture except by association, it was a lovely experience. I am glad that we live in a country where my girlfriend and others who share religious beliefs are able to practice their religion freely.
