Adulting Is Scary And Confusing, But You're Not Alone

Adulting Is Scary And Confusing, But You're Not Alone

Not everyone adults at the same pace, and that's fine!
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When we were sixteen, we thought adulting would be cool and easy. Think about it. No curfew, we can eat what we want, go where we want, do what we want and no adult is going to tell us otherwise. Then when we turned seventeen, we were both excited and scared. The reality of adulthood dawned on us. We were responsible for ourselves. Of course our teachers tried to make it clear that being an adult isn’t fun and games. You’re entering the “real world.” Another thing school did a great job of was setting up socially acceptable goals. You’re going to graduate high school, go through a four year college in exactly four years, graduate, and then find a job to start your career. Somewhere within that, you’d get married, have kids, accumulate enough wealth to get your kids into college, and then retired, grow old and die. This all seemed reasonable and doable. But it isn’t.

We learned pretty fast that these milestones set by our teachers and parents weren’t one hundred percent financially realistic or statistically probable for everyone. Some of us went to that four year college because we had enough money, whether it be a scholarship that could have not gotten because there were so many qualified candidates or because by sheer luck of the draw, we were born into a family that actually could afford to put all of their children through college. Some of us went even when we didn’t have the money and took out loans we still aren’t able to pay off. Some of us decided to not go to college altogether.

We all took different life paths that deviated from the very specific timeline we were expected to follow and we payed the price for it, whether it be from guilting ourselves for not being where we should be in life or from someone in our social circles guilting us for “not moving forward in life.”

The thing is, we all follow different life paths at different paces. We don’t have control over every road bump and life event that might pull us in a different direction. Sometimes things just happen. A person’s life can’t be measured by what they’ve done. If a person is in their forties and haven’t settled down and started a family, that doesn’t mean they haven’t lived a full life. If a person is thirty and still hasn’t chosen a career path, that doesn’t mean they’ve fallen behind. There is no correct way to live life, as long as you are happy and healthy. And no one can tell you that your life is lacking.

A lot of the time, when a person tells you that you are a failure in life or gets on your case for not being where they think you should be, they might actually be projecting their insecurities of their own failures. Your life path pace is absolutely none of their business and if they are, “saying it out of love,” there are better ways of handling the situation and talking about it, like asking about their goals or just being emotionally honest about why exactly they’re concerned instead of confronting them aggressively. For example, if you’re concerned about your partner not finding a stable job, instead of saying, “why can’t you just get a job already,” tell them, “I’m concerned about our financial security.”

I personally beat myself up over not completing things in accordance to the socially acceptable timeline. I haven’t completed my four year degree in four years and trying to complete it in four years has taken a financial and emotional toll that I wasn’t at all prepared for. I feel awful that I might have to take a semester off or maybe a year off. I compare my failure to my friends success but the thing is, I’m not my friends. My situation is vastly different than my friends. I worry a little about how there’s specific life things I still don’t know how to do. For example, I don’t know how to drive a car and a lot of the time, I feel kinda pathetic because my friends have to drive me everywhere. But the thing is, we all learn things at our own rate and experience things at our own rate and that’s okay! I am twenty- two and I still suck at budgeting and I still have yet to figure out how to keep my bank account above five-hundred. But these are things I’ll figure out eventually. I’m still learning and I’ll always still be learning.

Goal setting is a fantastic idea, but having to reset your five year plan to cope with what life throws at you doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just life. It’s okay to feel scared and frustrated and lost because adulting very frustrating and confusing and scary and you're allowed to feel that way without any sort of judgement. Talk to your friends. I can bet they are as equally scared and frustrated as you are.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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10 Ways To Start Your Days Off Right By Bringing A Little Joy And Positivity Into Your Morning

"Listen to the birds sign a sweet morning song."

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I'll be the first to admit, I'm not exactly what you would call a "morning person." That being said, I think it's high time I bring some joy into my mornings. I mean, life is beautiful, and by not enjoying mornings, I think I'm missing out on a potentially enjoyable part of life.

So if you want to start enjoying your mornings like me, here are ten things you might want to try doing to start your days off right.

1. Make a happy and healthy breakfast.

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Make some toast, eggs, fruit, granola, or yogurt. OR, break out the bacon and have a good time. Any of those options sound like a good morning to me.

2. Drink a fresh cup of coffee (or tea).

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For me, I don’t think anything could beat the smell of a coffee being made in the morning. So whether you’re into coffee or tea, use a nice warm drink as a way to bring a little joy into your mornings.

3. Smile when you wake up.

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Start your morning with a good old-fashioned smile. Look in the mirror, look at how wonderfully made you are, and take a moment to smile and take that in.

4. Try to stay off of social media when you first wake up.

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I know, it’s all too easy to become glued to your phone these days, BUT I think that’s a few moments of time away from it, and away from social media, can be a good way to stay positive in the mornings.

5. Journal your thoughts going into the day.

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Take a pen, pencil, and a piece of paper, and take a moment to write down your thoughts, feelings, emotions, or anything else on your mind going into a new day.

6. Put on clothes that make you feel happy.

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Put on whatever outfit makes you happy, whether that’s a cute sweater or a t-shirt. Wear something that makes you feel good.

7. Watch the sunrise.

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OK, so I know you might not be able to do this every morning, but I think that watching the sunrise is the perfect way to start any day. What could be better than taking in all of these wonderful creations?

8. If you can, sit outside and enjoy our planet.

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On that note, take some time to sit outside and enjoy the early morning and the world around you. Start your morning off with some time to really just sit back and take it all in.

9. Spend some time reading something you enjoy.

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Grab a good book, a magazine, or whatever it is you might like to read. Take some time to clear your mind, and then fill it with lots of good writing.

10. Listen to the birds sign a sweet morning song.

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Arguably my favorite thing on the list, I truly can see no downside to listening to the birds chirping away in the morning. If you can, take some time to listen to nature’s sweet morning song.

Hopefully you can try one of these tactics to brighten up your morning, and in turn, maybe even brighten up your whole day. We live in a wonderful world, and I think that it's time we start to recognize that.

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