Having confidence is often overlooked. People can blame you as being overly narcissistic and "cocky" as they say, but in reality, obtaining confidence is a notion some can only dream of having.
A person able to relate to such desires is myself.
I look at people with high self-esteems, and who think very highly of themselves and their actions, and I only desire to feel that way towards myself. I see people that are able to thrive, and able to go on about their days feeling they are deserving of anything good that comes their way, and wish extremely to have the ability to do the same.
It's like, how do they do it?
Well first of all, I truly feel that confidence shouldn't be a trait that people view as intimidating and confidence shouldn't be seen as a form of arrogance. Someone who reaps with a confidence must be happy, right? Those who feel content with what they do, have to be content with who they are as a person. These people gain ultimate satisfaction by how they feel in regards to their own accomplishments, rather than others opinions.
Dealing with insecurities tends to have me constantly questioning my relevance, and for this reason, I am perpetuated with doubt in many aspects. My mind hovers over the notion that I am not good enough, nor am I worth anything positive that enters my path. I hesitate posting something online, or simply just stating something because I immediately wonder what my peers will silently think. On the other hand, people with confidence stand amongst a firm ground and are able to locate self-worth within, and flourish due to their own judgements towards what they do and say, rather than anyone else's.
My self-esteem issues stem from circumstances I've encountered while growing up, which I feel like we've all had those moments either as a child or during adolescence. I've struggled internally to accept myself for who I am for as long as I can remember, and overcoming this ordeal has taken toll on my everyday life. Evidently, once social media platforms became more prevalent in our society, certain standards and portrayals of "beauty" started entering my mind, and from there I inflicted negativity upon my being. I don't want to feel this way; It's toxic. This mindset is something I've dealt with for a very long time and I only aspire to over come it.
Building confidence is a journey in which for some may takes years, while for others it only takes a slight epiphany or wake-up call. I hope to one day feel comfortable in my own skin and attain a self-assuring attitude not only to benefit myself, but to encourage others who were once in my position.
