I personally have dealt with generalized anxiety with panic disorder for the past six years. Often times anxiety is blown off as an excuse for attention, but I'm here to tell everyone, that's not what this is. Dealing with a mental health issue, people judge you and treat you differently. But here is the best way I can explain what it's like to live every day with generalized anxiety with panic disorder.
Everyday I wake up, and I feel tired and sluggish. Often times I feel like there's an elephant sitting on my chest, and I can't breathe. I scream and scream for help, but I just look like a crazy person because I'm the only one who can see or feel the elephant crushing me, daily. It's so much easier to not show anything you're ever feeling and bottle everything up because everyone's response is always "get over it", "you'll be fine", "everything happens for a reason." But honestly, I don't want to hear it. Every time someone says that to me, the elephant on my chest gains 200 pounds.
It's hard to make friends, or keep friends. Everything about being close to people emotionally, triggers every feeling of panic through my entire being. Having a relationship also triggers fear and total anxiety. I want everything to be perfect and to always make my other half happy, but it's hard when your significant other is put off by insecurities - which I have a lot of. In every situation, I run all possible outcomes from A to Z through my head. Which in turn triggers all my anxiety because let's be honest, a lot of the possible outcomes are negative.
Because I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety with panic disorder, every other physical ailment I have, such as migraines, the only possible cause is stress. But I know it's not stress, but trying to express my concern and no one will listen in turn stresses me out and triggers the panic disorder.
Basically every single day I wake up is an uphill battle. I make the strongest effort just to get in my car, or make it to class or to work. I'm in no way a crazy person, and guaranteed someone you know and care about struggles with this daily. I'm here to say, be there to listen. Don't judge their feelings because you wouldn't want someone to treat you in that way. Just because I have generalized anxiety with panic disorder does not mean I am any less of a person, or that I will have a less successful life. It just means I work twice as hard internally to be where I am at and where I would like to be. Society today needs to clear the stigma around mental health, and actually begin to help people who suffer from this daily. And to those who love a person who deals with a mental illness, bless your heart, I am thankful for you just as they are.
