Lately I feel I have been slipping in life with writing, school, and many other stuff in my life that are more important to me than anything.

I have been lacking the urge to write lately. I feel my muse has left me and honestly I don't know what to do with myself. I know I need to try to force myself to write again, but honestly it is hard. I have so many ideas and joys to write about, but that odd feeling of it not being important enough or even good enough sucks me down the hole of feeling as if I am a failure, which my brain always tells me I am. This is the sign of my depression getting to me and the feeling of not being good enough. Which I feel is sad to state because shouldn't it make me want to write more? Not cripple me to not enjoy it or even think I should quit because I am not good enough. I know writing isn't just good reviews and everybody loving what you write. It is honestly a struggle and you won't always have success. These things I already know when I decided to become a writer. I know I have to work hard and continue on especially if I enjoy writing fiction, nonfiction, and even poetry pieces. I know I just can't give up on my feeling. Sometimes I just need to get things out even if it is pushed out here and there.

School, on the other hand, makes me really rethink my choice of major and minor, since I am at least struggling with two classes in both. I know I still need to fight through it if I know I want those dreams of being an author and owning a little store, either a bookstore or even a convenience store with some local author's books. I always dream big or at least I think so because those dreams seem to become farther and farther from my view. I know working hard is a goal and continuing to focus on my studies. I also need to reach out for help when I really need it which lately I have been trying, but I feel it doesn't help me at all. I know I still need to try, though.

Everything else in my life seems to also be falling apart, too. I guess it is a bit dramatic for me to believe that because everything will get better if I just work on it. In a way, I always have to believe stuff will work out, even though that might not always be a good way to think.

One of the things that have extremely been hard for me is dealing with my depression lately. I feel I shouldn't share or let it be anybody else's problem even though I sadly still do that because if I don't talk to anybody at all, I might just burst out crying everyday, which wouldn't honestly be anything different from what is happening now but I feel it helps better if I get it out. There is so much else I have been struggling with because of my depression. I have moments where I don't want to be around other people like my friends and family, I sometimes feel it is safer to just hide in my room.

Honestly I didn't know what this article was going to be about because I have been struggling with my own life to think about this, but I know I still need to keep up with it because it needs to be another routine for me. I was so excited to write articles even if most people don't really read them at least I am putting something out in the world.