Philogyny [fəˈläjənē] (phi·log·y·ny) noun : fondness for women.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, philogyny is in the bottom 10 percent of words that are used. According to a recent Google/Harvard Study of the Current Number of Words in the English Language, there are about one million words --meaning about 900,000 words are more commonly used than philogyny. My own personal dictionary probably only touches about 5 percent of the entire dictionary and that’s being really generous. In reality, I probably use about 1-2 percent of the words in the English language daily. The thought of the number of unused words is slightly depressing. There’s a world out there full of colorful, descriptive, informative, and unusual words that could sound foreign and beautiful on our tongues if we were to just learn them all. Unfortunately, it’d take forever to learn the definition and how to pronounce every single word in the English language, so this is why I think philogyny is one everyone needs to be more aware of.
It is a dog-eat-dog world out there, where many women view other women as competition. I myself am not immune to the feelings of jealousy when a woman walks in the room who is better looking, smarter, funnier or just “more” than I am. We see them as someone who is at the level where we want to be in a particular thing, and since they have what we don’t, we automatically envy them. The expression “the grass is always greener on the other side” comes to mind. Often times we’re too busy comparing ourselves to some other woman and are so distracted by everything she has that we lack, we completely forget about our own redeeming qualities. Accepting who you are as a person and your quirks lets you appreciate other women’s strong qualities. Maybe she’s a better writer than you are, and even if you’re working to improve your own craft, for the time being you have to accept that she’s better than you at it and admire her talent.
It’s hard to accept that you might be bested by someone at something, but once you recognize that you are not Superwoman, you will be more at ease with not being the best at everything. From there, it’ll be easier to love other women. No matter what your romantic and sexual orientation, loving other women is important. In a world that is full of hate, jealousy, and a brutal fight to the top, love is often pushed away in favor of money, power, or fame. There isn’t any room for women to be hating other women. Think of it this way: if you go to a job interview and all you do is trash the other people competing for the job, do you think you'll get the position? While there are definitely times when it's especially hard not to think of another woman as competition, remember to allow yourself to have faults. It's okay to feel that way, but take a step back and truly think about why you feel the need to be better than that other person in every aspect.
Letting women hate other women is just creating an excuse to allow for other genders to hate women as well. If we don’t love our own gender, how can we love ourselves? If women don’t love women, how can we expect men to love and respect us? How can we get men to take our disadvantages of being a woman seriously if we don't take each other seriously? Women must lead by example, and love each other and themselves. It has to start somewhere, and spreading the awareness of “philogyny” is better than nothing. It may sound awkward at first, but as you come to self-realization on what that word means to you, the word will sound like a beautiful beacon in the midst of the fog of hate.
Philogynist [fəˈläjənəst] (phi·log·y·nist ) noun : a person who likes or admires women.
