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An Ad For Dad

I'm in the market for finding friends.

Nicole DiTolla

Aug 08, 2016

University of Scranton

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My little brother is off to college, I'm off to Africa soon, and my sister is in Mississippi for the next couple of months. My parents are going to officially be empty nesters!

Now my mom has a lot of friends because she's pretty social. And my dad is, too, but he doesn't really have his own friends. He has work friends, and my mom's friends are certainly his friends. But now is the time for him to go get out there!

With the freedom to do whatever the heck he wants on the weekends, I'm sure he needs friends for golf. I hear he's an awesome golfer. I've never seen it because I don't want to bore my brains out on a field of grass while simultaneously staring into the distance.

Hands down, he's the funniest person I know. The king of dad jokes. Here's a great recent example.

Me: Who's your favorite modern artist?
My dad: (Long pause because he can't remember any) Hal Steinberner (The Yankees Owner). Just kidding, I wouldn't put that in. I'm making that up. Ed (addressing my brother), give me an artist. I would say a modern artist would be...
Ed: Maroon 5
Dad: Yea, Maroon 5. Wait Maroon 10. And stranded three. They're cousins.
Me: Who's your favorite old artist?
Dad: Mick Jagger of the Rolling Pebbles (He means The Rolling Stones).

What a guy! I told you, he's the king of dad jokes.

The quality he admires most in a person is integrity. If he were to have a superpower, he would want to fly at the speed of light. Buy him coffee ice cream, and he'll love you forever. Trust me, I'm his fan favorite as of right now. He loves the movie "Scrooge" with Albert Finney, "Jaws," and "The Godfather and Mister Roberts."

Ever been to Portifino, Italy? Tell him about your adventures. He wants to go! If you haven't been, you can both help each other plan your dream vacations!

And if he could be famous, he would only want to be famous if he found the cure for all cancers. Yes, he is a great guy. But he is an even better dad.

If you know of anyone who is in the market for a friend like the one I have, let me know!

Email: nicole.ditolla@scranton.edu

Twitter: @nicole_ditolla

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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An Ad For Dad

I'm in the market for finding friends.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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