Nowadays, people are infatuated with what the perfect dating relationship should look like. A common term of our generation is "relationship goals" (hashtag optional). Girls, and occasionally guys, are constantly looking at other couples videos or pictures and coining them as goals. Most times, it's an extravagant vacation a couple took, or an over the top dinner the guy planned, or my all time favorite, a surprise puppy! While all these things are fairly innocent and sweet, they make others jealous and wanting the same thing in their own relationship. With the rise of what is relationship goals, there is an increase in feeling the need to be in competition with other couples.
While it may be nice for a guy to step up and plan a nice dinner, or surprise his girl with something special, it is not what a relationship is all about. We are starting to obsess over what we think relationship goals should be and it is getting out of hand. If you think that a relationship will thrive off of buying your significant other gifts, dinner, or puppies, you are too immature and don't belong in the dating world. Rather, we need to build our relationships off of things that matter and mean something. Here is what the Bible has to say about what your #relationshipgoals and what they should actually be:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
It is no wonder this Bible verse is traditionally read at wedding ceremonies. It is the true concrete foundation of what love is and should be as appointed by God. It is specific characteristics that both partners in a relationship should strive to maintain always. This words of this verse is so beautiful and what is even more beautiful is finding someone who lines up with the qualities and characteristics of it.
Ephesians 4:2
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
These are true qualities of love. Humbleness and patience are qualities of the 1 Corinthians love verse, but what about gentleness? Someone who is gentle is a quality to long for. Love is a fragile thing so it needs a gentle caretaker, and as cliche as that may sound, it is true. You can't have somebody is rough around the edges 100 percent of the time.
1 John 4:7
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
Love comes from God because God is love. Without Him, we would be incapable of loving one another, nonetheless even knowing what love is. He proved to us all what true love is and we should seek to model that in our own relationships. More importantly, the way a man loves says a lot about his relationship with God, ladies.
1 John 4:18-19
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us."
Fear should be nonexistent in love. Love does not fear, it hopes. Fear is a lie that Satan wants couples to fall into because ultimately it will tear apart and break a relationship. The last part of the verse is definitely looked over far too often. Because without Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, we wouldn't know love. The Bible speaks a lot about how Christians cannot know love without knowing God and I believe this to be true. Sure, people who aren't Christ followers find love and it seems to work out for them, but as Christians I believe we experience a different kind of love. A better love and a more intimate one than others will ever know.
Galatians 5:22-23
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
The fruits of the spirit are not only what we should look for in a significant other, but what we should want to be qualities that describe ourselves. You attract what you are and if you are of these qualities you will know that your partner most likely is too.
Philippians 2:3-4
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."
Love is selfless, not selfish. This verse is all about defining love and putting someone else even above yourself. So even the Bible calls us to always me mindful of our significant other in how we can love and serve them. So doing something thoughtful or sweet, and maybe not always materialistic, is a good thing.
