I believe I first heard the word “feminist” at the approximate age of 12 when my cool older cousin was working for Ms. magazine. We were at a family party, and she was telling me about some shirts from the magazine that said, “This is what a feminist looks like.” I wasn’t clear on exactly what a feminist was, but I knew my cousin was smart, and I thought it was a clever saying, so I laughed and said I wanted one. My working definition of feminism from the context of the conversation was simply female empowerment, and even as a pre-teen I knew that was something I could get behind. By 14, I was wearing my “This is what a feminist looks like” shirt to school, and I was getting in heated debates with boys over equality and civil rights. I was “that” girl. The one no one wanted to piss off because everyone was tired of hearing my tirades. After I graduated from middle school, I attended an all girls private Catholic high school. When I wore my feminist shirt to school, I still remember as one of my classmates passed me on the stairs and asked what feminism was. I still only had my working definition of female empowerment, but by then I had grasped that I was identifying as something I didn’t completely understand. Later in high school as I was writing a self-directed paper on women in the Victorian Era and trying to understand Betty Friedan, I befriended a girl who happened to be the daughter of the president of our school. For the sake of this article, we will say her name is Sarah. One night, Sarah and I were hanging out, and I was wearing my feminist shirt. As we were driving in the car on the way to her house, Sarah’s mom (who again, was the president of our all girls high school) asked me about feminism. When I told her I felt the word represented equality and empowerment, she responded with her definition. In her mind, feminism looked down upon women who decided to be stay at home moms. If my memory serves, she told me that feminism wouldn’t support such women. As my mind swirled with rebuttals, I instead politely listened to this woman who was in a position of authority over me. What I wanted to say was that I disagreed. I knew that this shapeless, formless movement I was grappling with was above such judgment. I wanted to tell this woman that as a feminist, I didn’t believe women who made the free and open decision to be stay at home moms were any less worthy of support. I believed even then that feminism is solely about a woman’s choice in her own life and its affairs. It hurt me deeply that a woman holding such a critical position of power over hundreds of teenage girls didn’t believe in the movement that had made women’s education possible.
As I began college at an all women’s institution, I knew I would find like minded individuals who would expand my mind and my definition of feminism. After taking Gender and Women’s Studies, and talking to diverse groups of women, I now feel like I know what this identity means. Feminism is represented in the founding principles of our country. No, not the principles of power, privilege, and greed that rule us now, but the ones we originally agreed to: freedom, justice, and equality. I am a feminist because I support intersectionality. I am a feminist because I understand that as a white, heterosexual, cisgender woman I was born with a lifetime of privilege. I am a feminist because I wouldn’t take away a woman’s right to choose her own way in life.
Being a feminist isn’t about convenience. I’m not constantly griping about various issues because it serves my own personal interests. I believe women should have to sign up the draft. I believe women should be punished for committing domestic violence. I believe men can be survivors of sexual assault, and women the perpetrators. In essence, this movement we have named feminism isn’t about putting women on a pedestal. It’s about holding women and men equally accountable.
As I said, I am a feminist for countless reasons which are all based on the foundational principles of our country. If you truly believe in the United States of America, you believe in feminism. If you mean the words we pledge in allegiance to the flag of our country, “with liberty and justice for all”, then you are a feminist. There is simply not a way to be truly American without being truly feminist. So welcome to feminism, my fellow Americans! Don’t worry, we have shirts.
