There’s only so much you can control— you can control your emotions, how you react, what you decide to do. Like most people, I like to feel like I have control of the situation; I’m not a control freak or anything, but it’s simpler when we know what to expect and prepare accordingly. Life’s obviously very unpredictable and throws curves ball just when you think you’ve got it under control, but although I may like to be the one who knows what’s going on, I must remember God is the one with the ultimate control and we are just along for the ride into our destiny. It’s comforting knowing God is leading us, but somedays, it doesn’t make it any easier when we are hurting or feeling hopeless due to someone else’s actions that ultimately affect our life too.

Giving away control freely is not a speciality of mine; I don’t want to put my heart in someone else’s hands or even let someone else have the ability to mess up the perfect plans I’ve been putting together. I am not a fan of the variables, so I try to think of scenarios and all the possible outcomes so I am prepared, ultimately for the worst. However, I still consider myself very optimistic and tend to look on the bright side of every situation, and lately, that’s been leading to a lot of disappointment and pent up emotions. I’m learning it’s essential to set boundaries and discuss how you feel versus holding it in and expecting the other person to know how their actions have affected you. It’s necessary to share those emotions you’ve desperately held in or else you’ll hit your breaking point and your words will come out much sharper and harsher and not in a productive manner. You’re allowed to feel all the emotions under the sun— the good, the bad, and the ugly— and you are allowed to share those emotions with others, but when sharing your pain, upset, and hurt, let love and openness be your guiding factor.

The ones that hurt us the most are also the ones we love most, so let them understand your pain and let them help you mend your heart back together. Holding onto pain and resentment is only hurting you, not them, so let it go by working through it. It’s liberating.