I am going to be honest here: I am known for putting up walls and acting like I don’t care to prevent heartbreak. The harsh reality is that it 100 percent just makes things worse. Everyone is fighting their own battles and has a history that has scarred them for life, but fearing a repeat of that history increases your chance of something not working out. Here’s why:
1. A person can only stick around for so long when you aren’t giving them anything in return.
This is kind of obvious, but if you’re not putting forth the same amount of effort or interest then they are going to think you are just not that into them. You could think they are prince charming, but they aren’t going to wait around forever for you to let down your walls. Nobody wants to feel like they don't matter to someone they like.
2. You could miss out on someone amazing.
When you are too concerned that acting like you care too much will leave you hurt and alone then you aren’t working towards getting to know the person. They could be absolutely perfect for you but you would never know because they'll be gone before you're ever ready to show them your vulnerability. Be vulnerable and be bold, that'e the only way you will ever really be satisfied with life.
3. You can't choose whether you get hurt or not.
Life works itself out in crazy ways. Did you think the last three boyfriends/girlfriends would cheat on you and break your heart? Probably not. You can’t control whether someone will hurt you. You can walk away when they start mistreating you, but you will never be able to control what someone does before it happens. Giving someone a chance is the only way you can live life without regret and curiosity about whether it would have worked out or not.
4. You aren't letting them get to know the real you.
You are smoking hot and funny as hell, but if you are too concerned that someone is going to hurt you that you act like you don’t give a sh*t, then you definitely aren’t showcasing your best assets. Take a deep breath and let things happen the way they are meant to happen. Be your beautiful or handsome self and let people love you! Stop hiding!
5.The cycle will just continue.
When you put up so many walls to keep people out it becomes really tough to break the cycle; you will become accustomed to not giving a sh*t about people. It is not impossible to let down your guard after building massive walls, but it is more difficult. It is easier to break the cycle and let down your guard as soon as you realize you have a problem. Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Use all of the pain from your past as a lesson instead of a hinderance.
Being vulnerable isn’t that bad. Sure, you may get hurt again but you also may miss out on someone who could have given you the world. The thing about life and love is that you can’t be fearful. You have to be bold and you have to put yourself out there until something finally works out. Because something will work out one day.
