As another new year rolls around, most of us find ourselves looking forward to all that is possible in the coming months. Many of us set personal goals for our lives - who we want ourselves to be or become and all that we hope to accomplish. These are all great things that should enable us to grow and develop as people, and hopefully help us to live our lives as fully as possible. But as we attempt to turn to the page to the next chapter in life, we also often find ourselves full of regret. We regret what we did not accomplish in previous years or our mistakes of the past. We reflect on what we could've done differently or why we still have not changed certain aspects of our lives. Of course, there is nothing wrong with reflecting on what we can do differently and better, and we most certainly should, but there is a big difference between reflecting and regretting.
Reflection is a healthy and pretty essential part of each one of our lives. We reflect on the bad and the good - the things that didn't go right and also the wonderful memories we have made. Reflection gives us an inner examination that can help guide our future thoughts and actions. Reflection can quickly turn to regret, though, most especially when we think about everything that went wrong in the past week, year, or even decade.
Regret also seems to be a very significant part of human life. None of us are near perfect, and we are not meant to be. Life is also very messy, and there is no perfect or set way to go about living it. Things go awry, the unexpected happens, we seriously mess up, and we end up wishing for what didn't actually happen. These are all a part of the file in our minds labeled Regret. It's typically stockpiled with what we wish we could've done differently, what we did completely and utterly wrong, and what we never actually got around to doing. Regret - different from reflection - is what fills us with a certain sadness and disappointment in not only ourselves, but our lives as well.
Now, sometimes we need this regretful feeling to act as a wake up call for us. It can cause us to realize we have have done wrong or haven't yet done, and thus motivate us to do differently in the future. But we must be careful, for regret can also be a great hindrance. When we only focus on the things we regret, it is impossible to move forward. And the fact of life is that it keeps on moving forward whether we move with it or not. Rather than focusing on what we now cannot change, we should take what we have left and make the most out of it. Ultimately, we need not so much regret, as to accept.
Only by accepting our pasts can we truly move on to all that lies ahead of us. If we keep our heads and hearts in the past tense, we are unable to see all the beauty that's occurring in the present. Even if we are not exactly where we want to be today, it does not mean we can't change tomorrow. The mountain we climb today is what gets us to the valley of tomorrow. The mistakes and missed steps of the past should be used as stepping stones into our future. For if we never mess up or take a wrong turn in the first place, we would never have learned what we now know today. Our past is what molds us into who we are - ever-changing and growing people with all the potential in the world.
Yes, we once again find ourselves in a new year. So let us take our past - all that we have and haven't done, all that we are and are not, all of our experiences - and carry it not as a heavy burden or baggage, but rather carry it as supplies to build something more beautiful than ever before.
