When thinking of the millions of pregnancies ended via induced abortion every year, it is illogical to grieve those fetuses, or to think of your own children, planned or unplanned, because it was that mother's decision to not continue her pregnancy. You chose to keep your child; therefore, it is not the same.In the majority of cases the decision to have an induced abortion is rooted in the fact that the mother (and/or father) is not financially, mentally, or physically capable of being responsible for carrying and raising a child. Contrary to the posters plastered across abortion-clinic walls that state, "There are religious and government assistance programs that can assist you in raising a child" that is not a reasonable argument against abortion for everyone.
Not everyone is willing to give birth knowing their child will immediately join the ranks of the current 15.5 million impoverished children in the United States. Not every woman is willing to become a welfare mom. Not every woman is willing to give birth knowing their child will immediately be the subject of emotionally-charged child custody and support legal battles. Not everyone believes that is a fair life to a child.Not everyone is capable of accomplishing such a difficult task; I know many have done it and succeeded and I'm so happy for you and your baby--but not everyone is willing or capable.
The argument that, "so many people desperately want a baby, let them adopt it" is not valid. Just because another woman or man cannot conceive does not mean it is now my obligation to gift them a child I created with my own flesh and blood; because in the United States alone, there are nearly half a million children in foster care at any given moment.Why not adopt the children already alive and waiting on a family of their own, or at least give them the most loving, accepting foster home they could have ever wished for? If it's because you want an exact race, gender, or age...once again why is it my obligation to fulfil your exact menu-like request for a child with my own flesh and blood?
Of course, some women have abortions for selfish reasons too, and that's acceptable. What do you think the alternative was; because I promise you the myth that "she'll eventually fall in love with the baby", is not always true. Those fetuses would end up being the children given into foster care, pawned off onto relatives, neglected, or simply resented by their mother for existing. Or for a positive outcome, given to an adoptive family, but then that just leaves out the already-existing children who desperately need to be taken into a family of their own. It is one of the most difficult sub-topics under abortion to discuss between opposing parties, but this is a real and valid reasoning for obtaining an induced abortion. Not every reason for abortion needs to be that the mother was raped or will die.
For those arguing that "birth control is available, you have no excuse!". I do actually, but thank you for your inconsideration to my responsibility and intelligence level. When I fell pregnant, I had been told I was most likely infertile. I did not have naturally-occurring periods and still took my birth control pill daily. The father was also declared sterile continuously for years before the pregnancy occurred. We both subjected our blood to a 14 panel STD test and are in a monogamous relationship. I felt like we pretty well covered our bases before having unprotected sex. I did not know I was pregnant until after a heartbeat was present, I had no logical reason to believe I was pregnant when the odds were so nearly impossible.
Choosing an abortion was hard. I have always wanted to be a mother and love the father dearly; but we were both still in college, blanketed under student loans, lacking familial ties. As I vomited 7 times a day with triggers like water and standing up, watching my 5' 6" frame dwindle to sub-100lbs, unable to finish a lecture or work-shift without vomiting to the point of blood. I knew I could not handle a pregnancy, a baby, or the heartbreak of handing my impossibly-conceived baby I'd always dreamed about (and would have suffered greatly to create) to a pair of strangers that are entirely capable of caring for one of the half a million waiting children. So, you can keep your belief that women who have had abortions are uneducated or heartless, and file it next to all your other uneducated opinions.
As I drove away from my surgery, I cried sobbed. Not for the pregnancy I ended, but for what I had seen during the experience. I cried for the women who arrived alone, who waited alone in silence wondering what exactly was going to happen behind those doors because the reality of abortion surgery is so shrouded in mystery and saturated with incorrect facts about pain and what could happen to you during and after the procedure. I cried for them having to walk from their car to the door alone facing the "religious" protestors' words of hate, hell, and gore when I know how terrified they are to be pregnant in the first place, to feel like their body is betraying them by creating a life they cannot handle and cannot stop it from happening alone. I cried for them having to wait alone in a recovery room for hours after their surgery, waiting for the pain medication to wear off so they could drive themselves home alone and in pain--some living hours away. I was scared enough with my partner next to me, blocking me from the protestors hateful words, holding my hands in the recovery room, I empathize dearly for those women who did not have that support. Why can't we care about protecting and caring for those women, as much as the fetus they carried? Why do I have to beg you to care about these women? To not shame them, mislead them, isolate them? Does your God care more about those 'babies' than their mothers?
Also, to the protestors who devote their time to standing outside of places who offer abortions, your words of hate do nothing to promote your beliefs or protect those fetuses you are shouting about. You weren't there when she was raped, left by the father, realizing she can barely afford her own rent and food, unable to work her job because her body was too weak, or when her family/friends turned on her for telling them she was going to have an abortion. You weren't there when she made her decision. How can you hate and shame and call a woman a murderer when she is terrified and isolated; and you must understand when you call her a murderer you can never then expect her to trust her community to help her protect, feed, clothe, house, and love her baby when it so blatantly refuses to protect or love her when she needs it the most. You breed an environment of hate outside of those clinics and then expect her to what? Come running into your arms instead of the clinic doors and suddenly become enlightened and have her baby? All you're doing in front of those clinics is hurting a woman when she needs love and support and ruining the reputation of the God you claim to serve.
Women don't have abortions for fun, we have them to save ourselves or to save our babies from suffering. I have read hours and hours of pro-life articles, books, and social media posts. I understand pro-life views differ vastly from my own and you may see these pregnancies as human life that has already started. I do not aim to offend you, but I plead with you to try and see from our side, I implore you to please, show the same compassion to those suffering outside the womb, as you do to those inside.
