Trigger warning: Depression, anxiety and abuse

Dear me,

That is way too formal. Let's try this again.

Hey, bitch, it's you,

I just want to start this by saying, I love you and that is enough. You're going to have a lot of people say they love you, as friends or as boyfriends but they will never love you as much as you love yourself.

I know high school is the absolute worst, trust me I'm you. I know all of the classes are either way to easy or hard for no reason, it's still worth it to actually try. Also never stop giving all of the teachers a hard time, especially the ones that deserve it like Mrs. H and the woman at the front desk who made you cry. Also when they try to belittle you and ruin your high school experience stand up for yourself, you don't have to be aggressive but at least just say it isn't right.

Don't start so much drama, please!!!! That is one thing that isn't worth it. You don't have to keep walls up, you don't have to be so outspoken, every other kid there is just trying to make it like you are.

Don't tear yourself down. You're beautiful, every but you can see that. I mean you could stop dying your hair silly colors and take those ugly gauges out, but even then you're still beautiful. Invest in a good contour kit, I'm just saying they work wonders.

Get help sooner. Tell someone you're depressed, tell someone you're anxious. JUST SAY SOMETHING TO ANYONE. Please, it would be so much easier than going through everything alone. There are professionals who would help you, I promise. The pills won't work and neither with cutting yourself, a therapist and psychiatrist will. It only feels worse the next day when no ones even noticed you tried to end it all.

Boys aren't shit. Stop flirting and wishing. Everyone in high school is not worth the time, they aren't your type. You won't meet your type until college, those guys are way more fun and relaxed. High schoolers are to concerned with popularity and they won't get you.

Speaking of boys, stealing boyfriends is not nice, I get that it makes you feel wanted for the first time in forever but I promise it's bad news. I know he's hot, he has tattoos, dad won't approve but there's a reason dad won't approve. When he puts his hands on you for the first time run, when he keeps going even though you say stop fight back. When he chokes you so hard you start to go unconscious please just get away. He will never be worth the lifelong nightmares and fear.

Don't quit softball so easily. I know the coaches would rather play their daughters over you, but colleges see your potential. Get your knee fixed right away, you will be in pain forever and you'll lose your chances of playing in college. I know you didn't want to anyways, but it would've been so much fun.

I covered all of the main parts because I know you hate being told what to do. There's so much more I would I would have you change if I could, but at the same time, I'm glad most things happened. I'm glad you were hard headed and I'm glad you had to make all your own mistakes, it means you're stronger than you ever thought you were. Stronger than I ever thought I was.

You're going to do amazing things, and when no one else believes in you believe in yourself.

— Your older, smarter self.

P.s. Get on Tinder sooner, it's like online shopping without spending the money!