First off, Happy 46th birthday!! I cannot believe that it has been six years. Six years without your beautiful smile, contagious laugh, and your big bear hugs.
It is absolutely insane to think of how different of a person I am than I was before you passed. Obviously I was 12 and not even in middle school yet so my overall maturity level was not up there. Now I am 18 and just graduated high school in the top 25% of my class. I not only went on to become the student body president of my middle school, but I was also the student body president of my high school. I loved every minute of it just like you told me I would.
I involved myself in more things throughout high school that even I am astonished how I was still standing at the end of each week. I did it all for you. I prayed to you before each and every performance and waved I love you in sign language during every bow. During each Pink-Out game, I decked myself out in all of your cancer gear with "For Mom" written on my wrist in Sharpie.
Before you passed, you said that you would be the sun rays poking through the clouds saying hi. Wow, what a talker you still are. The sun rays poke through the clouds basically every single night with your smile shining through. I got a tattoo of a sun on my wrist for my birthday to remind myself that you are always with me.
I am going through a lot of big events and chapters in my life. It is so heart wrenching to not have you by my side experiencing them with me. I know that you are constantly looking down on me and cheering me on every step. It is just crazy how I always imagined you to be in every chapter of my life on Earth. Never did I think I would have my mom be my angel over me in heaven, but I am so thankful you are.
My new graduation date is on your death date- July 25th. I cannot help but think that this is your way of giving this devastating day a whole new meaning for me. It is now my chance to take that next big step in my life, with you always being by my side in the sky.
I miss you more than words can describe. I can't wait until I see you again one day when I join the party of Heaven. You have shaped me into the person I am and I will continue to make you proud.