Dear Freshman Year,

You went by surprisingly fast and soon my sophomore year will be here.

Overtime I try to reflect upon you I cannot help but think about how much better you could have been if I had done things differently. I look at all my friends from high school that have had the time of their lives this past year, and it makes me wonder if I'm doing this college thing all wrong. Sure I know how to get the grades to succeed and that's great, but something is missing from this past year.

I'm a worrier. I constantly worry about what could go wrong and if people like me or not. My first year of college has made my anxiety peak to levels it never has before. I remember being too excited to go to college when I was in high school. I was so ready in my mind to take on this next chapter of my life. Never could I have imagined it bringing me a whirlwind of fear.

That first night before classes when my family just finished moving me in reality hit me as for the first time in my life I am all alone. I was beyond scared for what was next to come. Just earlier that day, excitement rushed through my body as I discussed with my parents my plans for this past year. All the friends, I was going to make, how hard I was going to try in my classes, how I was going to join clubs, and put myself out there. Just another pre-nursing major who didn't really understand where she wanted life total her yet.

As I entered my first day of classes I felt some of my nervousness slip away. I thought I made it I'm finally in college, as I have dreamed I would be since I found out what college was when I was a very young child. I printed off all the syllabi and wrote down every important date in my planner. I went to eat at the dining hall for the first time and felt that this year would be a piece of cake.

Fast forward to the end of fall semester, I've made a solid group of friends, learned somewhat how to live independently, and was just waiting to come back from winter break so that spring semester could start.

Spring semester took me by surprise. Everything was changing and I felt myself wanting to try less and less in my classes and I wanted to focus on my friends and hanging out with them. For a while I didn't care. I was having such a good time with almost no stress for the first time in my college experience. I felt like I had found a solid group of friends who loved and supported me, and they did for the most part. Eventually, I just wasn't clicking with them anymore. They started to give me stress, along with my classes and I started to feel that anxiety that I felt during fall semester.

Although I didn't completely fail my classes, or any of them rather, I just did way worse than I ever have before in school and this dropped my GPA. I beat myself up about this for weeks, and I felt extremely embarrassed that I had let both me and my family down. I quickly changed my major from pre-nursing to what I believe I am really meant to do, Secondary English Education. The thought of being a high school English teacher gave me hope that I have found what my purpose is. My purpose is not to please everyone, or to make everyone happy, or to even save lives, but to educate future generations. My goal now is to continue on this path, finish college, and be the best damn teacher I can be.

Sincerely,

An almost sophomore student

PS: Dear Sophomore Year, You better be ready for me to kick ass!