On a relatively gloomy day, I sat in the UT tower's library with a friend of mine, his company keeping me afloat. It had been quite a day, but not one that I was going to complain about. I was scrolling through my emails at the end of the day, to see if I'd missed anything, and I saw one of my best friends.
"An email? Why didn't she just text me?" I wondered.
I had recently mentioned to her how I had been interacting with another friend of mine through an email thread, as we'd update each other every so often with the events of our lives. I thought it to be quite a wholesome and poetic gesture, but I never expected anyone to understand it that way.
I clicked the link to open a long paragraph. She wasn't best known for her ways with words, and so I wondered what she might possibly have to say. I longed for someone to tell me how they felt about me in my own language. It's as if we were synchronized, my best friend, had sent me a lifeline, in a time that neither she nor I knew that I needed it. I read it in its entirety.
And then again. There were tears flowing down my eyes in that quiet and quaint library, as I had forgotten how to see myself through more forgiving eyes. I subtly wiped them away before anyone around me could notice. She had validated every single part of me that I hated, she loved me for everything that I was, and I loved taking in every single word until I hadn't any more tears left to cry.
For anyone reading this, remember that you have people thinking of you, even if everything else in the universe tells you that you're alone.
You are not.
Priya Patel - Mon, Feb 18, 5:50 PM
"I thought I would be cute and different for once, and attempt to write to you.
You know I love you, and I'm not good with expressing my love, but after the countless letters and meaningful messages that I have received from you, I thought it was about time for me to sit and think, and really tell you what you mean to me.
You are one of my best friends. You have been there for me in every way possible and I love you so much for that. Yes, you are there when I need advice, or a shoulder to cry on. But you are also thoughtful, and you do things that you know I would want and love.
You're not just there at the end of the day to discuss, but are thinking and caring about me before the day has even started.
Your sight comforts me. Warmth and love radiate from your body, and you make me want to tell you all my feelings and emotions. You really listen to me. I know that when I am sitting and talking to you, you are actively listening, thinking about my problems, and wanting to help me. You remember the things that I tell you.
You are strong. So strong. You worry that you are becoming numb to things. You worry that you are too emotional, or have too much baggage. But all I see is such a strong, and powerful girl who has dealt with way too much in her life, and yet, learned how to still keep a smile on her face. I could have never dealt with anything that you have, and I admire your power and will Tahreem. You are amazing. You have been a parent, a mediator, a victim and you did not deserve any of that pressure on you. But at the end of the day, you have survived and risen from that.
I applaud you. Do not think you are in the wrong for taking care of your self and loving yourself more because you deserve and need that.
Being with you is my little home. I feel a sense of relief and escape from the real world and all its issues. I
love that you understand the world in the way that I do.
I love everything from discussing everything in the world with you, to just jamming to music and dancing it all out.
There are probably a lot more feelings I have for you, but for now, just know that:
I love you so much.
I value you so much.
You are not alone in this world and I will always be here for you.
You deserve all the happiness in the world."
I am in tears as I read this, and write in return. You have no idea how much I needed this at this very moment. You said everything that I needed to hear and more. I am going to hold onto this forever. I truly didn't realize how much I needed to hear this.
I want you to know that I love you more than you can ever possibly know. You are an extraordinary woman, who deserves nothing less than perfection. Your sight ignites more emotions inside of me than I can even begin to name.
I feel joy.
I feel the warmth like no other.
But most of all, I feel love.
In a world where I have forgotten how to exist in, you make me feel like I belong here. You remind that I have a purpose.
I feel absolutely no apprehensions with you. None at all.
You validate my emotions, without a shred of judgment, and I never feel crazy when I'm with you. I feel like it's okay to be a little dysfunctional; it's okay to feel what I feel; it's okay to be me, flaws and all.
Thank you for being my other half, for being my person.
Thank you for being you.
No matter what happens, I never want you to feel like you are alone in this world.
In a world that drowns us in in more hardships than we can begin to name, we need people in our life to tell us that we mean something, that we belong somewhere. It's easy to forget our purpose when we are entrenched in a constant stream of stress and worry. Self-affirmations only go so far to keep us afloat. As transactional is it may seem, you keep the people in your life because they fulfill you in some way, as you do them. And as much of an advocate as I am for communication, and asking people for what you need from them, sometimes we just don't want to have to! We never know what may be going on in someone else's life, or even in their heads. A little reminder of your care and appreciation for them goes a long way in just getting someone through the day. To all of my friends and readers, remember that you are respected, and you are loved. We will never know what someone is going through at a given time, so remember to occasionally remind your loved ones what they mean to you.