From the time I was young a child I felt things in a different way than others. I was often labeled sensitive, or dramatic. I often believed those labels, and convinced myself that the feelings I had were normal and everyone experiences them.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, two of the most common mental illnesses. Unfortunately, two of the most difficult mental illnesses- especially when you have both of them at the same time.

I just want everyone to know it's not just a feeling of being sad or feeling of anxiousness. It is sadness and anxiousness, with a million other emotions mixed in.

My anxiety tells me to go to school, and work or I will fail, but my depression tells me there is no point because no matter what I do- I will fail. It’s telling me that no matter how many friends I have, and no matter how amazing they are- I will never be good enough. It affects my everyday relationships with people. It’s being scared of change, and wanting things to stay the same because when one thing changes so do a million other things. It’s not saying hello because the fear of rejection and not receiving the same energy back lives in the back of my mind. It is not showing any emotion or showing all of them. It’s being agitated when things don’t go the “right” way. It’s settling for the easiest option, because going out on a limb leaves you an emotional rollercoaster. It’s lashing out under stress, and hurting loved ones. It’s so much more than being sad.

Depression and anxiety is not something everyone wants. It's terrifying, and uneasy. It's your brain telling you one thing but the next it's telling you the opposite. It leaves you not only mentally exhausted, but physically exhausted as well. These illnesses make you feel crazy, and different. As awful, and horrifying as it sounds- it can be beautiful. Learning to love yourself is also learning to love your flaws. The key to dealing with these mental illnesses is to accept them.