As an undoubtedly introverted person, conversation (specifically small talk) has never been my strong suit. I am, however, an advocate for purposeful, dynamic conversation. I’ve found that this is something that my generation seems to struggle with.
If you don’t want to be…
a) the annoying guy on Facebook
b) in an elevator full of people staring at their phone
c) completely clueless when faced with a question or discussion about current events
d) sitting awkwardly at a party/situation where no one is talking to each other
…here are a few tips you may find useful.
1. Find a news source, multiple news sources. Commit
to them. Read the newspaper.
This is one of the best ways to have something to talk about. Keep up with what is going on. Don’t miss out on engagement because of ignorance. Maybe the Wall Street Journal isn’t your thing, but reading TIME Magazine or your local newspaper might be. (Facebook doesn’t count).
2. Beware of bias and media contortion.
Speaking of Facebook…be cautious with news you receive from unreliable sources. As Abraham Lincoln once said, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet.
3. Learn what issues/current events are important to you and where you stand on them.
Are you passionate about environmentalism? The pro-life movement? Take a stance on the things. You don’t have to constantly defend your stance and bring politics and current events into conversation, but it is beneficial to know where you stand.
4. Surround yourself with intelligent people and riveting conversation.
I am fortunate in this department, as I spend the majority of my time with the smartest, most genuine man I’ve ever met. Hang out with passionate people, people who are intriguing and who keep conversations going and advancing. Find your entourage.
5. Become a minor expert.
I acquired this tip from Gretchen Rubin’s podcast “Happier” (another great source of information!) Find something you really enjoy, and become an expert on it. Scuba diving, tennis, baking, flower arranging, yoga, writing. Whatever it may be. This gives you great opportunities for discussion.
6. Read books and watch documentaries about things that interest you.
Whilst becoming a minor expert, dig deep into topics that interest you. There are documentaries and books about pretty much everything. Interested in nutrition? Check out the documentary “Food, Inc.” etc. (#netflix)
7. Embrace opportunities.
If you won a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you had to leave in an hour, would you take it? How about if a group of friends you don’t usually hang out with ask you to grab a bite to eat? What if a friend insists on setting you up with a guy you haven’t met, but she thinks he’s your perfect match? It might just be the best yes you’ve ever given. Say yes. Take a chance.
8. Do puzzles + brain teasers.
Expand your vocabulary. Become a fountain of fun facts. It’s much better to spend your Sunday morning completing a crossword than spending an hour on Facebook.
9. Put your phone down in the elevator/in line/on the train.
What if the person you are destined to be with joined you on an elevator, but your face was glued to your phone so you missed him completely? That would be tragic. Maybe you won’t meet the love of your life in line at the market, but you might meet someone with an interesting story. Talk to the elderly man at the coffee shop, he’s got a whole life worth of wisdom.
Remember that life is short. Talk to people, be educated, think before you speak, hear people’s stories.
