As a pasty-white daughter-of-a-redhead, I sunburn extremely easily. I have spent probably as many hours applying sunscreen as applying Aloe Vera to relieve the pain when the sunscreen fails me. After receiving a particularly bad sunburn this weekend (despite several coats of sunscreen), I decided my fellow easy-burners could sympathize with these thoughts we all have when we get a sunburn.
1. "I'm going to bathe in aloe now."
Ah, sweet relief. There's nothing like the cooling sensation of aloe on your torched skin. Unfortunately, the sensation wears off in about two seconds and you're back in pain.
2. "My skin is probably going to burst open in a few seconds."
I've had sunburns that not only dry my skin out, but also make my skin swell. Non-stretchy skin that is stretching out is not a pleasant sensation, and it makes you feel like your skin is gonna spring open. Sometimes, it does (looking at you, burn-blisters).
3. "I'm pretty sure cutting my skin off would be less painful than this."
Sometimes, when you have a bad burn, it seems like literally anything would be less painful.
4. "Is there some way to make sure nothing touches my skin for the entire rest of the day?"
I don't want clothes, blankets, water in the shower, and CERTAINLY not another person touching my burn. If that means I have to stand in my room with no pants on the entire day then so be it.
5. "Why do bad things happen to good people? What did I do to deserve this pain?"
Sunburns are ridiculously painful and there's no escape from it. You just have to wait it out. So that means there's a lot of feeling sorry for yourself involved.
6. "My (insert burned area) is on fire."
You literally feel heat radiating from your burn. Everyone keeps saying how red you are and you keep assuring them that you're in pain.
7. "Did I seriously not use enough sunscreen? I reapplied my SPF 50 at least six times."
The phrase "too much is never enough" is my sunscreen motto.
8. "Can you die from sunburn? I think I'm dying from sunburn."
Accepting your fate is key.
9. "I'm never going outside again."
IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK.
