September is Suicide Awareness Month. Admittedly, we've come a long away in awareness in the past few years between the upsNational Alliance on Mental Illness's advocacy, To Write Love On Her Arm (TWLOHA)'s Annual Suicide Awareness Week, and the uncountable suicide talks in schools, churches, households, and in the community...but there's still misconceptions to clear, stigma to erase, and people to reach. Granted, most of you have probably heard most of this before, but there are some things that bear repeating over and over again.

1. It's not your fault.

This applies both to those who struggle with suicidal ideation and loved ones of such individuals.

Your suicidal thoughts and feelings are not due to you being a "weak" person any more than you having a broken leg or bronchitis would make you a "weak" person. Being suicidal has nothing to do with your character, your willpower, your rationality, your empathy, or anything about who you are as a person. Suicidal ideation is a reaction to malaise (be it biochemical, psychological, circumstantial, or other factors) in the same way that a femur reacts to excessive force by fracturing or that the immune system reacts to invasion by giving you a fever and making you puke; being vulnerable to injury, physical or psychological, is a matter of being human, not of being strong or weak.

Your loved one's suicidal thoughts and feelings are not due to you not being a "good enough" parent, sibling, friend, partner, co-worker, classmate, therapist, what-have-you. Though it's a good idea to be aware of some of the common warning signs that someone might be suicidal. people don't always exhibit those common warning signs, and those that do, may be taking considerable efforts to mask those signs from others. You can be aware, but you can't be omniscient or psychic. Though love and compassion can go a long way in helping a suicidal person through a crisis, love alone can't cure suicide. That takes treatment, sometimes medication, and definitely quite some time.

2. It can happen to anyone.

Suicide isn't something that reserves itself to a certain "type" of person or to someone who's had certain experiences. Suicidal thoughts and feelings affect all age groups, all genders, all sexual orientations, all nationalities, all ethnic groups, all religious groups, all socioeconomic groups, all occupations, and all cultural groups. Suicide affects those who have faced many hardships, those who seem to have "everything going right," and those in between.

In fact, studies estimate that between 4 and 18 percent of the adult U.S. population has struggled with suicidal ideation at some point in their lives; the true number may well be much higher than this, as not everyone with suicidal thoughts will admit to such.

Suicidal ideation is (unfortunately) quite common, which means that you are (fortunately) not alone.

3. That said, some groups seem to be at a higher risk.

The obvious one are those who have a mental health condition: 90 percent of people who die by suicide are thought to have a mental health condition at the time of death. The conditions that present the most risk, of course, are major depression (also known as clinical depression) and bipolar disorder; schizophrenia and personality disorders are also thought to carry an increased risk. This doesn't mean that those who have these conditions are necessarily going to die by suicide: this just means that support, self-care, and staying on top of treatment may be extra important for these individuals.

Additionally, those with developmental, intellectual, and learning conditions also seem to be at a higher risk; one meta-study suggests that between 20 and 42 percent of adolescents with an intellectual disability, report suicidal ideation, and several studies suggest that those with learning disabilities also exhibit higher rates of suicidal thoughts and behavior than the general population. Another study conducted in 2013 suggests that two-thirds of adults with Asperger's Syndrome have reported thoughts of suicide (35 percent having made plans or an attempt). In all of these studies, a co-morbid mental health condition, namely a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder, is thought to be a major risk factor for these populations. Again, having one of these conditions doesn't necessarily mean that one is going to die by suicide; it's just something to keep one's eyes open to.

The most common age range for those who attempt to end their lives is between 15 and 25 - adolescence and young adulthood. However, there is also a slightly increased risk of suicide among the elderly.

LGBT youth seem to be at an even greater risk. The American Association of Suicidology (AAS) states that being LGBT "isn't a risk factor in and of itself"; however, due to stigma and rejection as well as an increased occurrence of mental health conditions, LGBT teens are twice as likely to attempt suicide than cisgender, heterosexual peers. This is especially true for trans+ individuals: some estimates show that around 50 percent (as in half) of all trans individuals attempt to end their lives.

Being a member of a certain ethnic group also seems to present an increased correlation. 13 percent of Native American adults in the US report having thoughts of suicide in the past year, compared to 3.4 percent in the general population. The White U.S. population also seems to have higher rates of suicidal thoughts and behaviors (though it's worth noting that the majority of research done on suicidal individuals focus on largely White populations). Socioeconomic status is also thought to play a role; a lower socioeconomic status is somewhat correlated to an increased risk of suicide, largely in part to a lack of services in this group.

Of course, being a member of one of these groups doesn't at all mean that one is likely to be suicidal, and, as pointed out above, being suicidal isn't restricted to being a member of a certain group.

4. It doesn't look the same in everyone.

Perhaps you've come to see the suicidal person as someone with a disheveled appearance who sulks around in black hoodies all day with tear-stains on their faces and a notebook and pen in their hands. Sometimes, being suicidal looks like this, but it can also look like wearing a huge grin and being bubbly and polite; it can look like being short-tempered and irritable, aloof and withdrawn, daring and reckless, nervous and insecure, completely nonchalant and care-free, or anything at all, really.

It's worthwhile to note, however, that one of the signs that may point to a person being suicidal is a significant change from their usual behavior. If a usually, outgoing and chipper person suddenly doesn't ever want to interact and seems troubled, this could be a sign (though it could also be a sign of anything from the common cold to situational blues); if someone who is usually polite and even-tempered suddenly lashes out at people and becomes aggressive when they otherwise wouldn't, this could be a sign; if a person who is usually a bit withdrawn and sad, especially if they have been for a while, suddenly becomes inexplicably happy, outgoing, and calm, then this could also be a sign and an important one: some people who struggle with suicidal ideation will feel a sense of elation and peace when they have made a decision and a plan to end their lives.

Still, this isn't true of everyone who struggles with suicidal ideation; some will act pretty much exactly as they always have on the outside while battling such thoughts on the inside. People are unique; thus, how they present when suicidal is also unique.

5. Talking about suicide doesn't cause suicide.

There is a common misconception that talking to someone about suicide may "put the idea in their head." This, however, is simply not the case; Karen Kanefield of the previously mentioned AAS states :

"Talking about suicide simply isn’t going to change what was going on in the at-risk student’s life. And it’s not going to change someone who’s not at-risk and suddenly put them at risk."

In all frankness, most people know that suicide or "killing themselves" is something that exists; chances are that you wouldn't be mentioning a possibility that wouldn't have had ample opportunity to occur to this person if it were going to do so.

Part of this fear comes from the "copycat suicide" phenomena (also known as the Werther-effect ) in which higher rates of suicide are observed closely following the suicide of a celebrity or community member. While this is a real phenomenon, it's not a particularly common one, and it's not caused by the mere talking about suicide (see below for more information).

6. In fact, talking about suicide can save lives.

Awareness is key in getting suicidal individuals help; a very large component of spreading awareness is talking to people. It's through conversations such as the ones inspired by TWLOHA's social media awareness campaigns (this year's theme being #Tommorrow2015) and through school and workplace programs, not to mention those between friends and family, that people find out about supports such as the Suicide Prevention Hotline and how to get connected to potentially life-saving therapy.

On a more personal end, talking to others about your own suicidal feelings may help one to reason through a crisis. Some find it helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, professor, co-worker, or religious/spiritual leader; some find it helpful to seek sources such as the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255), the Crisis Textline or NAMI Air. Even online forums such as reddit and tumblr can bring about support and healing.

However that support comes, it's clear that talking about suicide helps so much more than it may hurt.

7. Additionally, changing the way we talk about suicide can save lives.

You may have noticed the lack of a certain word throughout this article that often accompanies the topic of suicide: "commit." Words have histories, and the history of the word "commit" is one of criminality: for much of history, attempting or completing suicide was an illegal act punishable by jail-time if unsuccessful or the confiscation of personal property if successful, and this is still the case in several nations, such as Malaysia and Singapore . "Criminal" and "illegal," in turn, are loaded with histories and connotations of maliciousness, of harm, of a morally negative stance ... which, in terms, paints the suicidal as somehow "bad," and many people tend not to feel much sympathy and, thus, don't give much support to those they perceive to be "bad" - not to mention the effect this had on the suicidal seeking help, as people aren't too prone to admit to having "bad" or "criminal" thoughts.

Going back to the issue with "copy-cat" suicides, it may not be so much that their suicides are talked about as much as the words used to describe those suicides that lead to an increased risk. Many public writings label such actions by celebrities as "selfish," or "foolish," or any number of negative terms (though, to society's credit, most top-page search results for "suicide selfish" are about how suicide is not selfish); the implication in many of these postings, especially after the death of the beloved Robin Williams, is that being suicidal is "wrong," thus, once again, discouraging treatment and discussion. Thus, detaching the negative attributions from talks of suicide may detach the negativity surrounding treatment, which may, in turn, save lives.

8. Suicidal thoughts and feelings take time to heal.

A person isn't going to be free from suicidal thoughts forever, the second they walk into a therapist's office, even if that therapist is really skilled and is an awesome match for the patient. The first swallow of a pill or the first week of a whole-foods diet isn't going to swallow down suicidal ideation at that instant. Telling a family member or close friend that you love them and don't want them to die isn't going to slay all suicidal thoughts immediately. Both therapy and support are helpful, if not necessary in most cases, but they aren't an instant, magic fix-all. Patience is key, both for those struggling with suicidal ideation and their loved ones - suicidal ideation is an injury of the psyche, and even the most curable of injuries take time to heal.

9. Yet, there is help, hope, and support.

For some people, the battle against suicidal thoughts can drag on for years, if not a lifetime. Yet, that battle, for many people, isn't going to be as hard as it is now forever, and many people find long periods of relief and relative intrapersonal peace. Therapy can be extremely helpful - the specifics of the therapy vary from person to person, and many people have to try a few different therapists and a few different styles before they find the one that matches up with their specific symptomology, personality, and cognitive style. But having the tools that therapy can help a person develop, can be crucial in those darkest moments (even if, for some, that "therapist" is a spiritual authority rather than a psychological one). Medication, whether that be allopathic (such as Paxil) or holistic (such as St. John's Wort), also seems to help many people. Connecting to others in the community, be it digitally or with in-person support groups, can also be crucial. You are not alone.

This support is also crucial for those who have lost loved ones to suicide. Referring back to point number one, it's not your fault, and support groups and community connections can be a wonderful place to be reminded of this. As with therapy, you may have to "shop around" for communities that best fit your needs - and, heck, maybe a few good, understanding friends is all the "support" you need or want. Again, you are not alone.

Excuse the cliché here, but please don't give up. Don't give up on your community members and on learning as much as you can about suicide and the matters surrounding it and correcting your misconceptions where they lie (I'm sure that my understanding of it all isn't perfect, either). Don't give up on your friends, family, co-workers, classmates, or anyone else who may be going through a rough period. Most of all, don't give up on yourself. As said by Winne the Pooh author A. A. Milne:

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”