Love is a beautiful thing. Newly budding relationships are adorable and you're learning new things about each other everyday and it truly is the "honeymoon phase." I think it's precious, really. However, when you're learning new things about each everyday and it is during a class that I'm in...I'm going to need you to shut up.
1. Talking CONSTANTLY
I know that you both think it's cute but absolutely nobody else does. You're ruining my entire learning experience because you don't know how to shut up for a 50 minute class.
2. The giggles...
I'm sure to your potential bae your giggles are adorable and infectious in the sense of the word meaning: likely to spread or influence others in a rapid manner. To everyone else in the class, it is infectious in the sense of the word meaning: likely to spread infection because it makes me wish I had an infectious disease.
3. The playing dumb
I will never understand why acting like an idiot would appeal to anyone but for these people apparently it is the most endearing parts of their personality.
4. The inside jokes
At literally any other time you guys would be adorable but I'm trying to learn about logarithms or how to properly cite my paper. I don't need to hear random words that make you both laugh hysterically like you're watching a Louis C.K. special, which you aren't. He is funny, you are not.
5. The constant need to be touching each other
There is a time and a place to play with each other's hair and playfully kick each other and on either side of me is not it.
6. The asking questions the teacher just answered because you were too busy getting lost in each other's eyes
I'm not a violent person but I genuinely want to punch myself in the face because if you would have listened for 32 seconds instead of whispering sweet nothings into their ear, you would've heard the answer.
7. The constant need to make the class laugh to impress their potential bae.
Again, I know funny. I've seen every special Louis C.K. and Eddie Murphy have. And you saying a question really loudly and stupidly is not that. Please watch them and work on your material.
8. When the teacher specifically says quiet work because she's too kind to say "STFU," but what you hear is, "talk as loud and as much as you can instead of doing the assignment!"
I just have secondhand embarrassment for you and I feel bad for the teacher. She genuinely is trying to not lose her mind and you just test her patience over and over again and I sincerely hope one day she explodes.
9. Then when we actually do have to discuss something in class you're both totally silent.
Oh I'm sorry did we replace the annoying sexually charged young adults with church mice? Because now during the one time we are supposed to talk, you have absolutely nothing to say. Interesting.
Best of luck to you both. I truly hope you both finally start dating so maybe you'll have a better place to discuss whatever is so important during my class. If the spark you have for each other is HALF of what you have while the teacher is desperately trying to tell us crucial information, send me a wedding invitation. Because you truly will be together forever.
