Fall is here and so is that disorienting clash of football, baseball, and hockey seasons. For many, this marks a wonderful time of team pride, camaraderie, and lively debate. The general love for a home team, passion for a game, or sheer competitiveness can bring people together in many ways. However, for those of us who just don't get it, fall can be clouded by confusion, misinterpretation, and a lot of boredom. Here's some relatable situations that us non-sports girls find ourselves in.
1. People assume you’re trying to be a ditzy girl.
Listen, we all know that both men and women love sports. We're not trying to assert our girly nature here by making false claims about our disinterests...it's just that we, we unsporty aliens, don’t understand this obsession. “But women can like sports, too!” We know we can. We can even drive and vote and run for president..and pick our own interests, too.
2. People try to teach you things.
OK, it’s nice that you’re trying, it really is, but if we wanted to, we could Google the stats for the Tiger’s season. But thanks for throwing random data that doesn’t mean much at us. It cleared so much up!
3. Your friends can easily convert you to their team when need be.
Need someone to wear that out-of state hockey jersey? Sure! We'll do it, who cares? Need someone to absently smile and nod while you debate which team is better with your other sport friends? Just say the word. We don’t care. Just don’t ask us the hard questions.
4. You smile and nod a lot.
Just casually sitting here, trying not to offend you. I respect your hobbies or interests of whatever, but please don’t think I’m rude when I sit and scan through my phone while you stare at the TV screen and cheer. Sorry.
5. People think you’re a snob.
No, we don’t think we’re somehow intellectually superior or that contact sports are barbaric. And we understand fully that you might get some sense of pride or fulfillment from cheering for your favorite teams. Do your thing! Everyone needs something—this is just not our niche.
6. You've tried to fake it.
Mimicking enthusiasm will eventually make you interested in sports, right? “Sure! I'd love to spend this beautiful fall afternoon inside with you watching football! Really! I promise I won’t annoy you with heavy sighs or too many questions, really." (Spoiler alert, this does not work.)
7. Seasons are difficult
“But why is there post season baseball? If they still play, shouldn’t that just be a normal season? What's "post" about it? Why does hockey season feel so long? Isn’t there an intermission? “
8. You are disgusted by pro league salaries.
You just don’t understand why that guy that spends most of these games sitting on a bench makes more per year than you probably ever will in your lifetime. You understand that these players dedicate their lives or whatever, but you can't help but make real world comparisons. Surgeons don’t even make that much. Surgeons don’t get to sit on benches with snacks.
9. You appreciate the little things.
Even if you hate the sport, you can appreciate how it brings your family and friends close. You can still see heading to the bar with your roommates as a chance to bond and socialize, and you grin and bear the giant TVs, screaming adults, and tacky spirit wear.
