For a select group of individuals, drinking coffee goes beyond the desire for added caffeine or craving for a pumpkin spiced latte. For addicts, drinking coffee is a religious experience. Over the years, our non-coffee addicted friends and family have tried to rationalize this addiction by making comments and asking us questions. It's time to put these comments and questions to bed so that we can get back to sipping on our cup o'joe in peace.
Here is a list of things all coffee addicts are tired of hearing.
1. I don’t know how you drink that stuff; it tastes awful.
This may be a coffee addicts least favorite thing to hear, mostly because we can not even begin to understand how you can even think that way. To us, coffee is like a nectar from the gods. We love the taste of coffee so much that we can not get enough of it. Either your taste buds are lying to you, or you don’t enjoy happiness because coffee equals joy.
2. Did you just get a large coffee? I could never finish that.
Please do not judge us based off of the size of our coffee. Ordering this large coffee is the highlight of our day, and we will not have that ruined because you think the extra eight ounces of coffee in our cup makes us inhuman.
3. How did you finish a large iced coffee so fast?
To coffee addicts, drinking a cup of coffee is like a kid eating their favorite candy. They love it so much that they finish it so quickly, always wishing they had more. I think a better question is: why haven’t they invented a large enough sized coffee to satisfy us?
4. If you wait on this long line, you’ll never make it to class on time.
Any coffee addict can tell you that it is better to be late with coffee than late without coffee. When we see a long line at Dunkin or Starbucks, we are not easily frightened off. Doesn’t matter if our professor judges us as we walk in five minutes late with a full iced coffee in our hand, as long as we can sit there and enjoy our favorite thing while we are bored senseless about whatever lecture said professor happens to be giving at the time.
5. You’re cranky today. Have you had your coffee yet?
First of all, you should never tell a cranky person that they are cranky. Don’t poke the monster inside of them, or it can come out to bite you. Chances are we haven’t had our coffee yet. But there is no need to remind us...we're getting to it.
6. Is that your third cup of the day?
Yes. Yes, it is. While we appreciate the fact that you have noticed, there is no need to point out the number of cups of coffee we consume on a daily basis. Just let it happen.
7. Are you drinking regular coffee after 6 p.m.? Won't you be up all night?
Don’t worry about us coffee addicts. We have built up the highest tolerance to the caffeine in coffee known to man. For us, drinking decaf is a waste of time and money. It's like ordering a non-alcoholic beverage on a Friday night, useless.
8. You spend way too much money on coffee.
Any coffee addict will tell you that you can not put a price limit on the money we are willing to dish out on our favorite cup o'joe. Do we spend most of our paycheck on Dunkin Donuts and K-cups? Probably. But to a coffee addict this purchase makes more sense than spending $20 on a new top. You'll spend your money as you wish, and we will do the same.
9. Drinking that much coffee can't be good for your health.
If the amount of coffee we consume really impacted our health, we would stop drinking it; but until that proof is actually brought before our eyes, we will not believe it. And even if drinking this amount of coffee sends us to an early grave, we know we lived a fulfilled and happy life with a coffee constantly in our hands.
... and I'm sure they have Dunkin in heaven, right?
