Moving to the South is quite a venture. Aside from the unfamiliar drawl of native Southerners and the new country terrain, there are many things that disconcert those of us who grew up in the North. I don't want you to think I'm bashing the South in any way. I have plenty of Southern friends and there are lots of things about the South that I love. However, anyone visiting a different culture will be able to find things that just seem...well, strange to them. Here are just a few of the weird Southern things that Northerners can't seem to wrap their minds around.
1. Sweet Tea with a side of diabetes
We'll stick with our powdered Lipton Tea any day. We prefer to live a few extra years.
2. Chacos everywhere
What are thooooose??? I still can't wrap my mind around this trend and its purpose... but then again, I guess that's what makes it a trend.
3. Monogrammed everything
Towels, wallets, phone cases, laptop stickers, backpacks, clothing, car decals, keychains, jewelry. We know it's yours. You know it's yours. Why do you need your initials plastered all over it?
4. The slower pace of life
Any Northerner stuck behind a group of southern students walking to class knows the struggle. We up North walk with purpose. The same for driving. There exists such a thing as a turn signal, and the gas pedal will not bite you.
5. Fried everything
We get you like your butter and oil, but at what cost to your health? To us, Southern comfort food = grease and cholesterol.
6. Irrational fear of driving in 'inclement weather'
An inch of snow does not necessitate a statewide emergency. It happens every year, and it is possible to drive in. Northerners do it all the time.
7. Boat shoes year round
Unless you live in a seafaring town, there's no reason. It just looks needlessly preppy. (Also it makes it look like you're expecting a flood.)
8. Y'all
We understand it, but that doesn't mean we have to like it or be comfortable using it. We'll stick with 'you guys.'
9. Being overly polite
In the North, 'sir' and 'ma'am' are reserved for the elderly or those in a position of power. And there is a threshold for how far away you should hold a door for another person.
Wherever these strange customs originated from, they have somehow become ingrained in the very essence of Southern culture as we know it today. I suppose every region has their particular quirks and charms; these just happen to belong to the South. We may not understand your Southern ways, but I guess you do you. Us Northerners will just carry on.
