Losing a friend is one of the hardest things that anyone has to go through. It's so heartbreaking, and it leaves you feeling like a part of you is missing.
You feel them starting to drift from you, and all of a sudden, they're out of your life forever. Suddenly, your future plans are no more; everything that you talked about for the future isn't going to happen. They just don't want anything to do with you anymore, and it really hurts.
If you just lost a good friend, you're probably wondering what you did wrong, what you did to deserve to feel this way and to be in such pain. Most of the time, you won't know what you did wrong, and it's probably because you didn't do anything wrong at all; it may just be them.
If you're worried that your friendship with someone is starting to go south, here are 9 signs that it's probably time to let go. Once you let them go, it will be much better for you in the long run, trust me.
1. They stop hanging out with you.Giphy
This might not always be the case; sometimes, as we grow older, we don't have time to hang out with people anymore, and it's hard to find time. But then, you find out that they're always hanging out with other people, but they never bother to hang out with you.
It seems that they have time for everyone in the world, but when it comes to spending time with you, they suddenly can't find time. You always try to make things work between the two of you, but they keep making up excuses.
"I'm really busy."
"I have a thing."
And they start being less and less specific until they finally tell you, "I just don't want to hang out with you."
2. You feel like you're the only one putting in effort.Giphy
This is one of the biggest signs that someone doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. You're always the one to start a conversation. You're always the one who tries to make plans. You're always the one who has to keep the conversation going, and sometimes, that doesn't even work.
You start to feel like you're in a one-sided friendship. They prove to you that you care about them more than they care about you.
If you start feeling like you're the only one trying to repair this friendship, and you feel like they could completely care less about whether or not you're friends, it's definitely time to let go.
3. You start catching them in lies.Giphy
If this friend starts lying to you, and it's constant, drop them immediately.
Friendships are supposed to be honest. You're supposed to tell the truth, even if they don't want to hear it.
Lying is a very toxic trait, and if they start doing this to you, do yourself a favor and get out of it as soon as possible. You don't deserve to be lied to.
4. You find yourself getting into constant arguments with them.Giphy
Getting into arguments every single day, especially if it's about the same thing every time, isn't a very good thing. In fact, it's a terrible thing.
Getting into arguments all the time is very draining. This alone makes you not want to be friends with them anymore because they aren't learning from their mistakes.
They aren't learning that they shouldn't be treating you the way they are. They aren't learning that they shouldn't lie. They aren't learning that you want them to communicate with you rather than leaving them to wonder what they did wrong.
5. They're always coming up with excuses.Giphy
I was always told a phrase growing up: "Excuses are like a**holes. Everyone has them, and they all stink."
This could not be more true. When you first hear these excuses, you're like "Okay, whatever, it's fine," and you go about your day. Then, the excuses start to get more and more ridiculous.
They start to make up excuses as to why they aren't talking to you, why they can't hang out with you, etc. After awhile, it starts to get old. This is a sign that it's time to let go.
6. They aren't there for you if you need them.Giphy
If you're really going through it one day, it's always a good idea to go to a good friend to vent if you need to. It's not good to keep things bottled up inside.
If you go to this person and they ignore you, tell you to suck it up, or just show that they don't care, they are definitely not worth any of your time or energy.
Go to someone who will actually listen to you, understand what you're saying, and be supportive. No one needs negative energy around them when you're already feeling down.
7. They start avoiding you completely.Giphy
They start either ignoring you or just not opening your messages at all.
Going back to the other points, they start putting less effort into the conversations that you do have, and if you have any conversations at all, they're usually really short.
If they start avoiding you, they really aren't worth any of your time, energy, or anxiety.
8. They start telling you really bad things about yourself.Giphy
When you get into heated arguments, sometimes the hard truth comes out: how they really feel about you.
They start to tell you how you're insanely annoying, you don't have a good personality, you're always fishing for compliments, you're really clingy.
You probably aren't any of these things. Don't let their evil words bring you down, because inside, you're a really caring person who would do anything to ensure someone's happiness.
Your personality is great. You don't deserve to be emotionally beat up like this. Whatever you do, do not let their words get you down.
9. You start to find yourself to be physically and emotionally drained.Giphy
After all of the arguing, worrying, and stress that you're going through, you're going to feel not only emotionally drained, but physically drained as well.
From personal experience, after going through all of this, I felt really tired and had zero energy. I would feel myself wanting to cry and holding in tears.
Having these feelings for a few weeks is not healthy at all. It's toxic. If you feel like this too, get out of that friendship immediately. Get your energy back. Let go of the stress. You don't need that.
With all of these things combined, you are going to think that you did something wrong, but please know that you didn't do anything. This is a toxic friendship, and I'm proud of you for getting out of it.
This was all based on personal experience with letting go of friends over the past few years.
If you start to feel any of these things, let your friend go. It's going to be so hard, trust me. I'm going through it right now as I'm writing this article, and I've gone through it countless times before this. Letting go of friends that I adore has always been hard for me.
Each time this has happened, I kept wondering what I was doing wrong. I tried everything I could to save these toxic friendships but in the end, I think the best option was to just let go.
Taking a step back, I realize that these people were never good friends to begin with. I had been played. I gave way too many second chances just to be stepped on in the end. It's going to take a lot of emotional healing, but I am going to get through it. I've done this many times before, and I can do it again.
And you can do it too.