January is quickly coming to a close, which means the ever-so-dreaded Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Being single is usually a great time, but chances are, if you are not in a relationship for February 14th, you have bitter feelings toward the holiday and are just anxiously awaiting February 15th, when chocolate is 50 percent off. Don’t worry, your bitter feelings are valid, and here are nine reasons why:
1. All the Valentine’s Day displays in every store you walk into.
Every. Single. One. Target, Harris Teeter, Walmart and CVS. Are four aisles of chocolate, oversized cards and teddy bears really necessary? Couldn’t the store minimize the amount of lovey-dovey products? I mean really. It's like they’re rubbing it in. Thanks for the not-so-subtle reminder of the bitter single life.
2. With Valentine's Day comes the cute romantic movies that come out in theaters on or near February 14th.
Of course you want to go see the cute new chick flick with that super cute actor you love. But then you remember the outrageous amount of gross couples that will inevitably be there that may or may not be swapping spit during the movie. Yeah, thanks but no thanks.
3. You have to buy yourself chocolate.
Chocolate is good no matter what, but it tastes even better when you don’t have to buy it with your own hard-earned money.
4. Getting on Instagram and seeing the 9,837 posts about the flowers, jewelry and cliché gifts all your friends received.
All the annoying posts about your friends’ “perfect” significant others just makes you want to vomit a little bit (or a lot).
5. Your mom is your only Valentine and sends you pity gifts.
6. Speaking of pity, all your friends who are in relationships seem to drown you in pity on this special day.
"Aww, it's OK, you just haven't found the right person yet" or "one day you're going to be so happy with someone, just wait" or "there's nothing wrong with being alone." Well thanks Dr. Phil, but take the unwanted opinions somewhere else.
7. You contemplate being alone forever and start picking out names for your future cats (or dogs).
8. All your friends are in relationships, and you have to sit there and listen to their perfect plans for V-Day and pretend you are stoked for them.
But really, you don’t care. And are not bitter or jealous. At all. Nope.
9. Candy is supposed to be good.
So why is it that those stupid heart candies that always accompany Valentine's Day taste like chalk and have weird pick-up lines on them? Also, biting into one is like biting into a small heart-shaped hockey puck.
Hang in there, single people everywhere! Being single won’t suck so much on February 15th. (And there's always all that sale chocolate to make you feel better!).
