If you take the phrase, “Are you talking to anyone?” and use it outside a college campus, it would be a typical question. Such as "Are you talking to this person in school? Or "Are you talking to anyone about what you’re going through?" This is how i initially understood the phrase, but it seems to have a completely different meaning in college.
Whenever someone asks me “Are you talking to someone?” I instantly know that they are asking me how my love life is going. So why don’t they just ask me straight up how my love life is going? There are many reasons, but this seems to be the safest phrase to use when talking about what might be going on in our love lives.
1. You're never really sure what's going on with the person you're talking to.
Sometimes, you feel like there are mixed signals. But you also know that neither of you are “talking to” or have interest in anyone else. Yet you’re still not sure who the person really is or how they feel, which is normal. This is why you play it safe and say “we’re talking." This way, your talking doesn’t get messed up by feelings.
2. You don't want to get your hopes up.
3. You're accustomed to hearing and living through this phrase.
You find yourself comfortable with this phrase because you’ve been in this “we are talking” phrase before. You've come to discover that there could be various outcomes to it, so you try to become indifferent to them yet still remember that "we are talking" is more than nothing.
4. You don’t want to bother the person you’re talking to.
You don’t want to be that person who asks “Where is this going?” or who makes things more complicated when they need to be. You’re worried that you’re just going to end up annoying the person by asking questions, so you keep quiet and keep "talking."
5. You’re not sure how you feel.
Yes, you’re talking to this person that you could or think you like, but those are such ambitious words. You honestly don’t know what your own feelings are, or if your feelings are just from the attention, or if you you even have a right to have these feelings.
6. Labels can be a lot to maintain.
Labels can lead to announcements that people could like or dislike, literally. Just look at relationships that are "Facebook official" or at Instagram bios that include the user's significant other. For me, labels feel kind of forced, but necessary when describing someone who you’re seeing. So why not stick with “We're talking” for a little while? Because this communication does not fall under a label.
7. Life is too busy to further define something.
College students have a lot of work, and are lucky if they get to spend a lot of their day with the person they're "talking" to. However, look at how busy they are with work and how social they are with their friends. With all that stress, is there really enough space to expand the “We’re talking” phrase?
8. You feel just fine without the person you’re talking to.
This is only the start of something with the person you’re talking to. But what’s great about this is that you feel completely independent. You still feel like you get to live the life you want, and that you are just as strong as you were before you started talking with that certain person. What keeps you the motivated the most throughout this phrase is that you know you don’t absolutely need this person with you every second in your life, because everything is just getting started.
