Let’s all travel back in time to 2015. Kanye took the stage at the VMAs to accept his well-deserved Video Vanguard Award, and audiences everywhere held their breath. Since Yeezy “let Taylor finish” on stage, viewers everywhere expected craziness when he set foot up there once again. What we heard, instead, was a long, deep speech about creativity, life, and his experiences. This ended with, “It's about ideas, bro. New ideas. People with ideas. People who believe in truth. And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided in 2020 to run for president." With the 2016 election approaching, these words have been mulling through my mind. Why wait four years? Let’s elect Kanye right now! I know, I know, it’s a little late to start convincing Americans to sway their votes. So here is a quick run-down of why you should vote for Yeezy 2016:
1. He speaks the truth, no matter what
In an interview with the New York Times, Kanye delivered an anecdote: “I have this table in my new house. It was some weird nouveau-riche marble table, and I hated it. We would try to set up different things around it, but it never really worked. I realised that table was my ego. No matter what you put around it, under it, no matter who photographed it, the douchebaggery would always come through.” West is known for always speaking up about his faults, and even admitted to NY Times that he suffers from anger issues. That is the type of honesty we need in office.2. He “can analyze people's intentions…”
“…Immediately. That's just a warning. To everyone”, he told Harper’s Bazaar. Seems like it would come in handy as POTUS.
3. He dresses like a Jedi
So that's pretty cool.
(image: http://t.co/gpKz3af4iY)
4. He understands women and treats them well
In an interview with Power 106 Los Angeles, Kanye spent quite a long time discussing his relationship with Kim. He started off by saying he “wanted to marry her from the moment [he] saw her…” and spent years just waiting, “it’s all about patience”. He bought his first phone in three years simply to be able to talk to her. Additionally, he told the radio station that “Lost in the World” was originally written as a poem to her.
5. He cares about important issues
“I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.” (@kanyewest twitter) These are the issues we need to be discussing in this country. No one needs extra, unnecessary responsibilities like this.
6. He’s relatable
“I love sleep; it’s my favorite.” – Yeezy to Harper’s Bazaar. Who doesn’t agree with that? He also once wrote a poem about McDonald’s, recently released in Frank Ocean’s magazine he published this summer, Boys Don’t Cry. The ode expresses mistrust of McDonald’s, which we all have certainly felt at some point in our lives.
(image: Boys Don’t Cry, by Frank Ocean)
7. He once beat Beyoncé at Connect 4
This clearly takes a great amount of skill, as Beyoncé is talented in everything she does. Someone with this amount of skill can do just about anything.
(Image: Buzzfeed: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/a-reminder-that-so...)
8. Professionalism
“Never do coke with an intern ... they may not be 21” (@kanyewest twitter)
9. Profanity-ridden speeches = way more fun
But, he respects it if you would rather not listen to them. In his 2015 VMAs speech, he told his audience, “If you don’t like 10-minute profanity-ridden speeches…you can go to the bathroom”. This way, people who wish to enjoy a colorful speech may, and others get a nice and convenient bathroom break.
Vote Yeezy 2016!
(But not actually. Satire, people).
