Before I start, May is Military Appreciation Month and I would like to thank all of the service members for the blood and sweat they put into protecting our country, oorah!

Being a MILSO is tough. By outsiders you're under appreciated, constantly stressed and are in so many places you can't tell up from down. But regardless of all of that, you LOVE the man you stand behind and words will never describe how proud you are of him. If you're outside of a military relationship its difficult understanding what it's like, but here are some basic points most MILSOs want to tell you.

1. I'm a MILSO

By definition I am a Military Significant Other, but I'm much more than that. I'm a stressed college student, working mother, high school student. I am a sister, a daughter, a friend. But one of my most relevant titles is MILSO. It's much more than just the title of a girlfriend. Being a MILSO means I'm connected to thousands of women across the country who are also in a relationship with a military man. This title means I have different stresses than you will ever face. It means I'm in a ride or die relationship and, most importantly, it means that I am the lady who backs, prays, supports, loves, defends and connects to a man who gives his all to defend the country he loves.

2. Please respect my relationship

All relationships will face hardships, but my relationship will face hardships and trials yours never will. My boyfriend will miss my birthday. My fiance is deployed and I'm not sure if he will make it home with leave for our wedding; I might have to move it for the second time. My man is stationed in Japan and with the time difference I only have hours to talk to him before the crack of dawn. I haven't heard my love's voice in over 80 days. He is working in such conditions each day that I don't know if I'll ever have another goodnight talk. I'm not asking for you to feel sorry for me, all i'm asking for is respect and acknowledgment that my relationship shouldn't be taken lightly and is not a fling. It is a solid commitment.

3. My relationship is battle-tested

Quite possibly even literally. My previous point just touches the surface of stresses MILSOs face. Every day as a couple we have to swim hard to stay afloat. Distance, lack of communication, finances, stress, lonely nights, holidays spent apart and everything else in the world hits us right in the face, but we've only come out stronger. Regardless of fresh after bootcamp or after his 4th tour, every MILSO takes their relationship extremely seriously--we have to if we want to make it out on top.

4. I will and do cling to my phone - get over it

When Grant, my man, was going through Marine Recruit Training it was letters only for 13 weeks. But if he won certain challenges or did something right he would get a chance to call me. Therefore, my phone never left my side. Now that training is over and we can text around work days, my phone does not leave my hand either. I'm sure yours wouldn't either if you weren't able to talk to your significant other for 18 weeks. Now that we're together, neither of us take for granted the opportunity to talk or text and we do as often as we can. If a MILSO never lets their phone leave their side (or has a panic attack if it dies and they can't charge it) don't accuse us of being too clingy or obsessed with our phones. Talking to our loves and hearing their voice feels better than winning the lottery or running into your childhood idol. But if you still have a problem with it, I'm sure you'll text your boyfriend about it.

5. It's okay if I'm quiet

The military life can make for long days. Time in the field, training schools and deployments make days drag on. One day without communication can feel like a week, and a 6 month deployment can feel like 5 years. When he's gone and I can't talk to him, I tend to get lonely and quiet. I wonder when he'll be done (with the military you will never know), what he's doing, if he's okay and I'm making a mental list of everything I want to tell him when I finally talk to him. If I'm quiet, I'm more than likely lonely and thinking, which are never a good thing. Friends, when your MILSO gal clams up and seems to be drifting by, cheer us up. Don't always give us space--time alone is usually the enemy. Please take me to me play with kittens, watch a movie, skydive, run with lions and visit space. Please? Anything is better than being engulfed in quietness.

6. You don't know what the real world is like, even if you've taken a college class on it

Dear people, taking a class on war or the middle east in no way exposes you to what it is truly like. You can take a class on the effects of war, but you'll never be able to know what it is like when you look into the eyes of a soldier who has seen death while fighting for your country. You'll never be able to understand what it's like when your husband comes back home with PTSD. You don't even know the fast balls that life can throw at you or what they can do to your life. I'm not taking away the fact that everyone faces difficult times in their life at all stages. Everyone goes through storms in their life, but the military world is the hyper real-world. Do not act all high and mighty with me when you're citing data from a college class and try to negate them with my real life experiences.

7. MILSOs are sensitive about certain issues

Politics scare me, please don't mention the solider who was killed last week-- they are more than boots on the ground. Also, most of your real life problems really aren't problems. You think your finals or your low fiances are a problem, but you haven't experienced problems until your boyfriend breaks his foot in the middle of training and continues training because if he doesn't, he won't be home for Christmas (With his injury he hiked 15 KM without any medical treatment, with a full 90lb pack on his back). Because he chose to merely visit his family over Christmas, he may not get his benefits from the GI Bill (as in college tuition) due to the VA, and so his sacrifices to his country and to the ones he loves aren't even rewarded for by the 'great' system this government has in place for our service men.

8. You don't know what 'missing someone' even means

Think before you whine about missing your boyfriend after 5 days. 13 weeks at bootcamp and all I can do is write letters. No texts, no phone calls, no pictures. He's training and won't be home for Christmas, and in 4 weeks I only have 5 hours to talk to him on Christmas Day. He's in the field and has no phone service, and is going to miss my birthday. He'll be deployed for 8 months in the middle east, we can email once a week and I heard I might get a handful of phone calls if I'm lucky, but i'm sure you missing your boyfriend at college 2 hours away equates to just as much.

9. I'm as proud and as happy as could be

I wouldn't sacrifice this for anyone else, but for him I will. I love him with my all and support him just as much. I stand up to those who are ignorant when he's not here, I write articles like this to show support, I wait for months, and I would do it all over in a heartbeat. My love is the most selfless person I know and he inspires me to better myself every day. He sheds sweat and blood for this country and for me. He looks fear in the eye and conquers it every day. He always puts himself last and others first, and he faced and overcame real world problems that no one else would ever fear to meet. No matter how beaten, sleep deprived, or unwilling he is, every day he wakes up and sacrifices his comfort, his time, his life, for me and others. It is because of this that I stand with him every step of the way. I couldn't be any happier either. He never goes a day without making me feel as loved as possible (even the months when we couldn't talk he still found a way to do it) I found the person I want to be with the rest of my life and although we face hardships they only make us grow closer and more in love. And yes, I'll obnoxiously wear motivational clothing that supports him until the day I die.

This article just brushes the surface of the things Military Significant Others experience and deal with every single day, and these are some basic things to understand if you are outside of a military relationship. Please, if you know a MILSO, be kind for them, pray for them and understand the sacrifice both partners are making for you as an American Citizen. Thank you for taking the time to read this! God bless America!!!

Thank you Grant for being by my side every step of this journey through prayers and letters when we couldn't talk, and always being my rock. I wouldn't have rather gone through this with anyone else but you, and I'd do it all again if I had to. I love you to the moon and back.