By the time this article is published, I will be 19 years old. While 19 isn't as an important birthday as 18, I’m taking this time to reflect on what I’ve learned in order to make this next year of my life the best one. I have learned so many things in my life through trial and error, figuring out what works and what doesn’t, and most of the time just winging it. So, without further ado, here’s nine important lessons I’ve learned in 19 years of life.
1. Having a good relationship with your parents is vital.
I’ve been blessed with two wonderful parents who are thankfully still together. I know everyone isn’t this lucky, but if you have parents take advantage of them. Your parents are so much smarter than you give them credit for, take their advice and learn from what they have to say.
2. Be someone who does both.
You don’t have to fit perfectly into one category. You can be a girl who loves fashion and makeup, and a girl who loves hiking and can live out of a backpack for days. You can be a girl who country music and cowboy boots, and a girl who can rap every word of “Super Bass.” It doesn’t matter. Embrace your interests even if they don’t all fit into one category. It's OK to be eclectic.
3. Hobbies are cool.
It doesn't matter how "nerdy" your hobby is - if you love it, keep doing it. I learned how to knit this winter, and my family and boyfriend made fun of me endlessly, calling me a grandma. But you know what? Knitting relaxes me and I love the feeling of finishing a project. If you're good at makeup, make a YouTube channel. If you love to write, start a blog. It doesn't matter how "nerdy" your hobby is, keep it up because it makes you happy.
4. Love yourself.
The way you love yourself affects every aspect of your life. When it comes down to it, you are all you have. God made you the way you are for a reason, so love who you are. I know it's not always the simple, I know we all struggle with self-image issues - but accept you have flaws and embrace them. Nobody is perfect, so stop comparing yourself to others, and learn how to be happy with the way you are.
5. Don't ever go to bed angry.
This is a rule my boyfriend and I live by. No matter how angry we are at each other, we always end the night with "I love you." I invite you to try this with everyone in your life. I know sometimes people do things to you that you can't get over in one night, but before you go to bed let them know it will be okay eventually. Don't lose a good night's rest over something that won't matter in the morning.
6. It's OK to cut people out of your life.
You don't have to do it in dramatic fashion, but sometimes you just need to stop being around a person for your own well being. It's possible to still love them and just not spend time with them. You can continue to pray for them and wish them well from afar, but you don't have to hang out with them anymore. If someone is continually using you or treating you worse than you deserve. Don't let anyone guilt-trip you for doing this - you have to do what is best for yourself sometimes. You can forgive them for their actions and live life without them.
7. Treat yourself.
Whether you have had a bad day or a great day sometimes you have to do something for yourself. Buy yourself flowers, get a pedicure, or buy a new outfit. Whatever it is that will give you a pick me up, do it. It's OK to enjoy those few moments of selfishness and give yourself a well-deserved pick me up.
8. Slow down
I have a huge problem with looking towards the future too much, and not enjoying the present enough. I worry so much about what I have to do tomorrow or next week that I can't focus on what I'm doing right now. Enjoy the present. For once stop worrying about tomorrow, and enjoy the moment.
9. Never give up.
This may be the most important lesson I have learned in my life. Whatever you are doing, whatever goal or dream you want to achieve – don’t ever quit. No matter how hard it gets, you will look back and thank yourself for not giving up. When you reach that goal or make that dream come true, all of your hard work will pay off. As J. Cole says, “there’s beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success.” Embrace the beauty of the struggle. It's all worth it in the end.
It’s taken me 19 years to feel like I kind of have life figured out. In the next year, I plan to implement these lessons daily, all while I’m learning new things along the way. So here’s to my 19th year of life, and here’s to many more.
