Divorce has become a norm today, compared to decades ago, when more parents stayed married. A majority of my own friends come from divorced families, and I know they might be struggling with dating trustworthy people. This isn’t to say that divorce is always a bad thing, and that some children aren’t OK with it, but many struggle with having divorced parents. Not everyone will have parents who get along after the divorce, resulting in separate housing and custody mainly to the mother. Here are some things you should know before you date these types of people.
1. They have trust issues.
Building up trust is important for each person in a relationship, but it definitely hits at the top for those who have divorced parents. We just want your complete honesty without any lying. There’s no need to lie, or bend the truth. We want to be able to trust you with everything, including our own heart.
2. Don’t ever raise your voice at them.
These people are the ones who have grown up with parents who would yell at each other on a consistent basis. Not only is raising your voice not going to help any argument, but it could even send some people into flashbacks of their own parents’ fights. You shouldn’t be giving them yet another reason to remind them of why they shouldn’t be with you — this relationship won’t work.
3. They can forget what it means to be happy.
You might be frustrated at us if we can’t open up in the beginning. We have doubts about our own love life. If you really care, you won’t give up on reassuring us that you can make us happy.
4. Don’t ever assume in an argument without listening first.
All we want is someone who listens. We hate when assumptions are made, which causes unnecessary drama about where we were, or what happened with that one guy. This goes back to the whole trust thing.
5. They have dated different people to realize what they want.
Some might call us picky, but we just know that we don’t want a person who will break our hearts in a break-up. This type of experience would be thanks to our divorced parents.
6. They most likely won’t be expecting a hook-up.
We are looking for long-term commitments. This doesn’t necessarily mean we expect marriage proposals left and right. We just hope to have someone who won’t leave us in the way that our parents left each other. That’s a no to hook-ups.
7. They are willing to take their time.
In order for a serious relationship to work, we will be patient. We won't want to rush into something serious and ruin something special. No rush, but we ask for that commitment we talked about earlier.
8. Communication is key to relationships.
Nothing is more important than good communication. This ties in to many of the points made, because without communication there’s a lack of any kind of real relationship — and that’s what we need.
9. At the end of the day, they need stability.
Having divorced parents and going from house to house makes our lives pretty unstable. We need a rock to lean on. We need someone to be there for us when we get into fights with friends, or when we cry. We need to walk on more even ground with someone who will relieve us of the stress of our lives.
This may seem like a long list of to-do's, but we ask them in hopes that someone will come along that can understand the situation of having divorced parents. We ask for support.
