There a few things that I have had serious relationships with this past year and those include my bed, my Netflix account and my books. Balancing these three relationships has been difficult and I can't even imagine how I could fit in dating a human. I've been so caught up with these things that I didn't even realize all of my friends are in relationships. It's like one day I had a bunch of single friends and the next I missed the boyfriend bandwagon. How dare my friends go out and get a boyfriend and not even inform me of this monumental change. Now I'm left with a bunch of friends in relationships and no boyfriend. What our friends don't understand is that if you're lucky enough, like me, to end up as the lone single friend of the group, you'll experience all of these things:
1. You will always be the 3rd, 5th and 7th wheel...
Your life no consists of hanging out with your friends and their significant other and there is no escaping it . Gotta love odd numbers
2. No I don't have any updates on my love life so stop asking
Trust me if I was talking to someone or had news to tell you, I would have told you the second it was happening, like literally that second. So next time we're hanging out or grabbing lunch, please don't ask "so anyone new in you life?"
3. You are now the designated photographer for all the couples
Since its just you, you're automatically the one they go to when its time to take pictures. Maybe you could make a profession out of it because of all the practice you get.
4. You can't stand when your friends talk in a baby voice but pretend its perfectly fine
You don't really get why your friends automatically change their voice 3 octaves when their boyfriend calls them or why they think its cute. You act like it's normal because they're in love but really you just want to vomit when see their name pop up on caller id.
5. You also have to pretend that your friends PDA doesn't bother you
PLEASE continue making out because that's exactly what I want to look at. No need to rub it in.
6. Your friends will always be asking you for relationship advice
Your answer will go something like this " well I wouldn't know" or "I'm still single but" and you''ll laugh to yourself because how on earth would you know what to say.
7. But somehow you end up giving the best advice
You give advice like you've been through the same exact scenario but in reality you have no idea what you are talking about and are making it up as you go and hoping for the best.
8. You hate that your friends are constantly trying to set you up with someone
The answer is always no. No I don't want to date your friend from school, or your cousin or the guy you work with or the guy that tried to get with you at the bar. Please don't do this.
9. When your friends complain about not getting laid in a while and you're just like LOL YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT!?
Do not even start. I don't want to hear it because trust me I can beat you on this one.
10. You've learned to monitor what you say about your friends significant others
You know that if you say what you really think, you could get your self into some trouble and wayyyy to many couples have gotten back together for you to really be able to shit talk the boyfriend you like least.
11. You hate when your friends say " I don't understand why you're still single"
BECAUSE SAME. And hearing you say that just makes me question myself 1000x more than I already do.
