An 8-Step Program To Get Out Of That Rut You're In

An 8-Step Program To Get Out Of That Rut You're In

And ultimately make yourself a happier person.
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We all get there, the lows in life where you feel like you're stuck in this place of bad moods and unhappiness forever. These ruts in life are anything but fun and can seem impossible to pull yourself out of, but I promise you it's possible. Here are some tried and true tips of mine to hoist yourself out of this low point in your life:

1. Get it out

Whether you talk to a friend, post long captions on your Finsta pictures, type it out in your notes on your phone, or journal; get it out of your mind. It genuinely helps you not feel so alone and not have your mind constantly encircling this "lowness" if you get it out of your mind and on paper or in another person's head.

2. Get inspiration

When you're at a low point in your life, typically that is when you feel the most unmotivated and uninspired and it seems so incredibly hard to get re-inspired about life. But don't think too hard about it, inspiration is everywhere. In books, on Youtube, in dream boards, in your friends; it doesn't matter where you choose to find it, just make sure you do. I find the most inspiration in watching people on Youtube who I find inspirational and who live how I aspire to. More recently I've discovered the art of inspirational books by reading "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero (I highly recommend it). Overall, getting your inspiration for life back is going to make you feel happier, better, and more like yourself.

3. Get a new perspective on your life

If you're in a low point in your life, chances are you're not the happiest and most positive person you could be and that is due to your mindset. If your mindset is leaning toward the negative side, your perspective on your life will be as well. So naturally, you want to attack that terrible mindset first; all it takes is a little conscious effort to change a negative mindset around. And likewise, the perspective you have on your whole life will be shifted to (hopefully) a more positive, happier one. Another simple way to gain a new feel and perspective in your life is to rearrange the furniture in your room, redecorate your walls or your desk, or try something you've never done before.

4. Take time for yourself

With all of this said, don't always sit in your room by yourself and not socialize or slack off on your homework. Take time for yourself, refresh, reenergize, get back out there, and be the best you can possibly be. Spending too much time alone will only add to your lowness, so go out, hang with friends, and have fun with your life.

6. Focus on your health

When you're feeling low it seems so easy to dump Cheetos and Pop Tarts and Little Debbie Snack Cakes in your mouth, but really all it's going to do is make you feel worse. Be aware of what foods you're eating, not every single thing has to be healthy, but focus on eating things that you feel good about eating and will make you feel good physically as well. Becoming more dedicated to working out will make you feel a million times better as well, not only are you releasing endorphins (which chemically make you feel happier) but you are also going to feel so accomplished by doing something so great for yourself when otherwise you would probably be scrolling through social media.

7. Find ways to get away from your lowness

This point can be applied to every other tip I have already given you in one way or another. Whether you decide you're going to hit the gym everyday, pick up a new hobby, like yoga or Zumba, or just spend more time with your friends it is important to find something you can do with your time other than wallowing in your lowness. Finding something you're passionate about and makes you happy is such an amazing feeling and almost immediately lifts your mood simply because you have time set aside in your life where you're not allowed to be focused on it.

8. Love yourself

This is the absolute most important tip I could possibly give you. Loving yourself creates such a beautiful, happy glow around your life and everything becomes so amazing and wonderful. It is hard to begin loving yourself, especially if you never have, but it is a process and please remind yourself growth does not happen overnight. Loving yourself is addicting because as Jen Sincero says in her book: "Love yourself and life becomes a party."

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

From an outside perspective, suicidal thoughts are rarely looked into deeper than the surface level. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is that people live in between those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead.

You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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10 Quotes That Will Help You Realize Your Self-Worth

Sometimes you need a little pick me up and that's okay because I'm pretty sure it happens to everyone. When I need a pick me up, I tend to look over quotes that help with either giving me an ego boost or reminding me to keep working.

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These 10 quotes are from a notes page that I keep on my phone with a list of over 100 quotes. I keep quotes on my phone to give me reminders, advice, or even some motivation. I specifically chose these ten quotes to help anyone remind themselves to never give up and to know your self-worth, which is priceless.

1. "Hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself."

This quote reminds me to only focus on what I think about myself and to continue bettering myself. The part of the quote that states, "never excuse yourself" really illuminates how there is always room for improvement in every aspect of your life. Never allow yourself to fall behind and to continue growing.

2. "I am left with no choice, but to create an empire from these ruins within me."

Anyone I am depressed (or heartbroken...), this quote reminds me you can only come up from rock bottom.

3. "If you're happy in yourself, you radiate happiness and attract happiness."

Any time I'm feeling down, I like to read this quote because it helps me work to getter better. The quote pushes me to get better because everything is much better and warmer when you're happy. Emotions soak in more, laughs are genuine, and happy tears become a reality.

4. "You don't need to be better than anyone else, you just need to be better than you used to be." -Wayne W. Dyer

Dyer's quote forces me to continue improving myself. I know this is similar to the first quote, but it helps even more because it reminds me to never forget where I came from.

5. "Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." -Louise L. Hay

When I am feeling down about myself, Hay's quote helps me get out of the funk because I will only continue to spiral if I only focus on the negative.

6. "I am the flower and the thorns. I don't need you to touch me in order to blossom." -Haley Hendrick

Hendrick's quote gives me the confidence to be a strong independent young woman. I do not need a pity party to feel better about myself. I can cope and continue growing because rain is the only way flowers bloom.

7. "Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is being mean to you all the time."

If you continue to criticize yourself and only focus on your "flaws," you will never be able to be happy. I know it is harsh but if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to ever fully love anyone. Being kind and allowing yourself to grow is the best self-care. Take a break from whatever you're busy with at the time if you need to. Take a breath and focus on the reasons you love yourself and what all you have accomplished.

8. "I wanna make my parents proud, my enemies jealous, and myself satisfies."

This quote points you in the direction of self-growth because it allows you to remember there are never excuses for yourself. Growing up is a part of life, so is adaptation and evolution. You have to go with the flow and keep up with the times.

9. "Your body is not a temple..."

"Your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest, thick canopies of maple trees and sweet wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated."

Do not ever let anything keep your down, break through the ceiling if you have to. Keep pushing and working for whatever dreams you have.

10. "You don't have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life..."

"You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is s relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignored your boundaries, and "continues" to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go." — Daniell Koepke

Sometimes, you had to leave behind people you thought would be in your life forever because they're holding you back. Sometimes they just always bring negativity and make you feel bad about yourself. Sometimes people make cool jokes and don't understand how it isn't funny. These people are toxic and it is okay to remove them from your life. Keep growing but always remember what could have happened if you stayed behind.

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