This past weekend my friends and I decided to go out to the clubs in Toronto for my birthday. As I was turning up, I realized that certain people will forever be present at the clubs. No matter if you’re in Houston, running through the six or down the street from campus, these key people will make your night just that much more interesting.
1. The Bathroom Girl
There is always that one girl in the bathroom that compliments you on literally everything from your dress to your sweat soaked hair and hoe heels. She’s there to turn your night around. Every. Single. Time.
2. The Cocky Bouncer
He takes his job way too seriously. You work for a club, not for the President of the United States.
3. The Table Dancer
Self explanatory. This girl is mostly likely the shiest white girl in the room that has had way too many cosmos.
4. The Club Plastics
These are the groups of girls who won’t dance with anyone. They come to the club specifically to have a few drinks and crush the hearts of all who attempt to penetrate the group.
5. Jordan Belfort
This guy feels the need to let everyone know how important he is through multiple rounds of shots of the most expensive liquor at the bar, i.e. could single handedly pay my college tuition for the amount of his tab.
6. Busted and Barefoot
Her hooker heels are just too much to handle with all her drunkenness, so off come the stilettos and guaranteed foot fungus. Beauty comes with pain she just isn't down for.
7. Schmoozin' and Boozin'
He is the nasty guy who keeps pursuing girls even though he is a soft three and his game is even lower. He goes for the princesses, the bad bitches and all in between. Everybody is his type because he is no ones.
8. The Village Weeper
Why is she crying? Because her boyfriend just dumped her? Because she has had too much to drink? Because her feet hurt? The world may never know since she's blubbering too hard for anyone to understand her.
