It's August, which means that formal sorority recruitment is coming up in a few weeks at many schools, and freshmen girls everywhere are nervously waiting in anticipation for recruitment week to begin. I was there, just one year ago. And I've seen all the "rush advice" on youtube and TSM, but I thought I might offer you some more practical tips.
1. Don't wear a sticky bra.
You will sweat it off. You WILL sweat it off.
2. Don't name drop other houses.
Don't talk, good or bad, about other chapters when talking to girls at houses. If asked how you're liking recruitment, or your experience so far, be honest and positive, but don't tell them which house you just came from and why you liked it or didn't. You have no idea if they have best friends in that chapter, and also, this time is about their sorority, and how you would fit into it. And don't talk about your specific likes/dislikes of the sororities in front of your recruitment/rho gamma/rho chi/pi chi etc groups, because those ladies have their own impressions that you don't need to be undermining. Use your recruitment counselor to go over all the houses and all your negative or positive reactions to them. That's what she's there for.
3. Be careful about going to a concert the week leading up to recruitment.
Even if it's Ed Sheeran, don't sing your heart out at the top of your lungs to every song. Recruitment is four to six days of talking to dozens of girls for hours, with very little rest in between. Your voice is already going to be strained, and it's very loud in the houses, so you need to make sure your voice can travel the two feet or so between you and whoever you're talking to. Coming into recruitment with your voice practically gone will not be a deal breaker, and you can always connect with girls when you talk about what concert you lost it at, but it will not make it any easier.
4. Don't do anything extra.
If you don't straighten your hair everyday or at least once a week, don't straighten your hair for recruitment. If you don't wear makeup, don't wear make-up for recruitment. If you have never, in your life, worn heels over three inches, do not pick recruitment as the week to change that. You want to put your best foot forward, you want to impress these girls, but you do not want to be part of a chapter where you feel pressured to look a certain way. If these girls are meant to be your sisters, they will accept you as you come. If you love make-up, wear it, show it, be proud of your interests and passions. But stay true to yourself, because if you're doing and saying things you don't like or don't believe, just to get into a sorority, you will not like yourself in that chapter.
5. Really assess your feelings about each chapter.
Why did you like this house? Why did you not like that house? Recruitment is stressful and full of emotions. It's even scary, not just because you're meeting a bunch of new girls and trying to impress them, but because you are making huge decisions that will affect your college experiences. You have to be very self-aware and critical to every situation when reviewing which houses you loved or didn't. "I did not connect with this particular girl in that house, but I love their philanthropy and I think I could connect if I talked to someone else." Or: "I cried at this house's preference ceremony, and I didn't cry at the other house's ceremony, so I should pick the chapter that I cried at." This might be sound logic for you, but take a look at your mental state throughout the week. Especially at the end, because you will most likely be exhausted, hormonal and confused. Now would be a great time to talk to your recruitment guide.
6. Don't base your rankings on your friend's rankings.
I'm going to go against conventional wisdom and say that it is okay to talk to your best friend (if you have one going through recruitment with you) about each house. I could warn you not to, but come on, they're your best friend and you tell them everything, so you know you'll do it anyway. And once you've went to all the houses for the day and made your cuts, it's okay to debrief with your roommate or bestie at the end of the day. But don't worry if you cut the one house she loved the most, or if she puts the one house you guys both still have in common last on her list. It's okay if your best friend isn't in your sorority. It's a blessing: you will make more friends, they will make more friends, you can bring them to your formal, they can bring you to their date night, and you guys will support each other's philanthropy events.
7. It doesn't matter how many houses invite you back.
Guess what: everyone only gets to join one, so who cares how many other houses liked you. Don't be that girl who's smug and condescending to the girls who got dropped by several houses. Honestly, no one is impressed. And don't be hurt or sad if you got dropped by houses you didn't expect. You might not have talked to the right girl, or maybe not enough girls in the house knew you to vote.
8. Don't be scared if you are not *in love* with the sorority on your bid.
Even if it was your top choice, don't worry if on bid day, or even the first week, you feel "meh" about it. Again, you have to trust yourself. No one knows you, your body, or your emotions better than you. Are you still recovering from all emotions of recruitment? Do you hate being in places where everyone else knows each other but you're new and don't know anyone? That's okay; I had to give lots of time before I really fell in love with my sorority and my sisters. You will question your decision, and that's normal.
You would be surprised with how many new members in your chapter aren't certain about their choice either. Reach out to older members of your sorority, most of them will be so happy to talk to you. Or, if you had a good relationship with her, reach out to your recruitment counselor again and get her advice. And if the bid you got wasn't your top choice, I will always recommend time. Give it a week. If, at the end, you are not swayed to stay just a bit, you can drop out if your certain it isn't going to work. Remember, as long as you drop before initiation, you can always try again next year. Take this year to explore other clubs and interests, make friends in your dorm and outside of greek life, and, if you still want to join a sorority next year, go through recruitment again. By this time, you will most likely know more girls in each chapter, have a better grasp on the differences between each sorority, got to see their sisterhood in action, and, most importantly, you'll know yourself better.
But the most important thing to remember, when going through recruitment, is not to wear the sticky bra.
