8 Things To Do If You Don't Play Pokemon Go

I'm going to start this article by saying, I don't have anything against Pokemon, any Japanese animation or anything else. One might even say that I enjoy it more than the layman. However, I never got into Pokemon as a child. Although my grandma does have a Pikachu soap dispenser because she thought it was cute, that has been the extent of my Pokemon consumption.

I never collected the cards. I never played the video games. I never watched the show. I do know the characters, though, because I haven't lived under a rock for the past 17 or so years.

That's uh, Ashley Ketchup, right?

So when Pokemon Go, this hot new app sweeping all media outlets, came out, it was hard not to notice. People were talking about how it was the worst thing that has happened to children because now they go outside, and apparently some aren't trained to do basic things like looking both ways before they cross the street or having the common sense to not use their phone and drive.

But it's been tough for me, someone who (gasp) has no interest in playing the game. This article is for us: those who don't know what to do with themselves since Pokemon Go hasn't taken over our entire lives.

What to do when you don't play Pokemon Go:

1. Find other cool apps on the app store to play that are equally geeky.

I suggest Marvel Contest of Champions. Not to brag, but my Spider-Man is Rank 3, Level 298. His win streak is pretty impressive. Just sayin'.

2. Shout into large groups of people at Pokestops that there is a rare Pokemon at "X" location.

The mall I work at is a pretty boppin' (do people still say boppin'?) place for my local Poketrainers (I'm pretty sure that's the term). So just run through the crowd and yell, "There's a MewTwo in JC Penney!" Hilarity ensues.

3. Actually enjoy nature.

It's crazy to think that nature has always been here the entire time. We didn't need Pokemon Go to actually go outside.

4. Find an unknown show on Netflix to obsess over so people don't know what you are talking about.

Ha! Joke's on you guys! While you guys talk about throwing Pokeballs and catching Weedles (which means almost nothing to me) I'll talk about how RuffNut and TuffNut are really hilarious and underappreciated in the "How to Train Your Dragon" Netflix series, "Riders of Berk."

Do you know why he is talking to a chicken? Well, I don't really know what a Weedle is, so there.

5. Take a nap.

Although, for me, napping is always an alternative to actually doing things, but these Poketrainers are running around at any and all hours of the night. That seems so exhausting. I will nap on your behalf.

6. Think about politics.

I mean, even Hillary got in on the Pokemon Go craze by asking millennials to "Pokemon Go to the polls!" Haha. Ha. *sigh*

But for real, the Republican National Convention happened last week (and the Democratic National Convention this week), and if you didn't catch any of that mad shade Ted Cruz was throwing when he wouldn't endorse Trump or missed Melania (or her staff writer) totally plagiarizing Michelle Obama's speech, think of all the other great highlights you missed!

7. Reminisce about the shows you actually enjoyed when you were younger

Man, "Ducktales" was awesome. Why don't they make a "Ducktales" app? Or maybe a Kim Possible app where you did missions with Wade? That would be awesome.

Imagine this, but on the high definition screen of your own smartphone. Then we can get the whole cast back together to record sound clips! It would be the nostalgia bomb of the decade.

8. Just let the geeks have their day

All joking aside, it is really awesome that something like Pokemon has spanned generations, and has caught the interest of people that didn't even know it existed two weeks ago.

So go forth and conquer, my geek brethren. I'll just be content with Candy Crush.