8 Things I Learned After I Got My Heart Broken

8 Things I Learned After I Got My Heart Broken

This ain't no Taylor Swift song, ladies.

We've all been there: Crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's (my favorite is Half Baked) and torturing ourselves with romantic comedies just to cry over them or get irrationally angry. I mean, come on, Kate Hudson TRIED TO LOSE Matthew McConaughey, and they still end up happily ever after? Bullshit.

However, getting my heart broken was how I learned some of this life's more valuable lessons. I know, I know; I sound like your mom. Trust me, I feel like a mom as I preach these lessons to my friends whose hearts are getting broken. But just like, pretend I'm like Mrs. George, the Original Cool Mom™, from Mean Girls.

1. I am not a half waiting to find my match; I am whole on my own

When I told my dad this one, he said, "Obviously you're not half a person. That's scientifically impossible." But, I believed so deeply in the cliche that the person of my dreams, the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, was the missing piece of me. Getting my heart broken by someone with whom I so vividly saw the white picket fence and two kids dream made me realize that I am whole. Anyone I choose to spend my life with, romantic or platonic, is just going to add to everything I am because I am already complete.

2. You really can't love someone as much as you can miss them

It's a John Green quote that always seemed so stupid. But, as much as I loved my ex, the love I felt (and still do feel) for him did not even come close to the crushing pain I felt in the early days of our breakup. This doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can care so deeply for people that when you miss them even deeper you know you've found someone worth keeping around.

3. Hindsight truly is 20/20

At the time, I never saw all the red flags that would have lead me to the eventual conclusion that our relationship was never going to work out. So don't beat yourself up about not seeing those things - no one can, and it's not worth going through the "what ifs" and the "imagine ifs."

4. Strength is best found alone

I never ever would have learned how to be strong until my only option was to be strong on my own. That's not to say I (or anyone else) is ever truly alone, but having someone who was always there for me in every way a person can be didn't do me any favors in finding my strength. Since I have been alone and on the journey to ~finding myself~ I have found so much of my own strength and courage because I had no one to have those feelings for me.

5. I found my real friends

I know you think your real friends are the ones who say "fuck that guy!" after you break up, and I know some of my greatest friends have that mentality. But you will also find your friends who will gently (or not so gently) tell you how it really is, that you had as many faults in that relationship, and you have your fair share in it falling apart. Keep those friends close; they will keep you humble, and they will always keep you grounded.

6. I don't care what parts of me others don't like

Right after my ex and I broke up, I took all the parts of me he always complained about and exaggerated them a thousand times over. I was obnoxious, and I knew it. But because of that, I learned the important lesson about loving yourself in there. I learned not to hide away parts of myself just because people didn't like them. They were parts of me, and I am great, incredible, and majestic. If you don't like it, too bad.

7. I am so much more than "beautiful"

My ex was always very careful to compliment me on more than just my appearance, and when we broke up, it was so hard to believe he was being honest. Slowly, though, I learned that he was right. As I rededicated the time I was spending on him to my other hobbies and interests, I began to find my own confidence. I am smart, I am hardworking, and I don't need anyone to tell me. Confidence is a beautiful thing, ladies.

8. If I was so in love then, imagine how in love I'll be when I find "Mr. Right"

This was the biggest realization I had. I realized that (obviously) this relationship was over and that chapter of my love life was done. As devasted I was, I can only imagine how much happier I'll be when I find the person who God sent to spend the rest of his life with me. I was so in love then, and I can't wait to experience "match made in Heaven" happy, "soul mate" love, and actually having that white picket fence with two kids life.

Cover Image Credit: Kate Marlette

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If Jay Gatsby Got A Do Over

What if there was a redo button for our tragic hero?

My all time-favorite story by FAR has always been The Great Gatsby. I was that nerd in high school who poured through the pages of the book wanting more and more, just wanting Gatsby and Daisy to end up together. That book has taught me more about life and relationships than anything else in the world.

So recently I started to think, what if the story ended differently? What if the characters chose differently, what would happen? If anyone in the book deserves a do-over, I believe it's Gatsby himself. The guy pines over the love of his life for five years, only to discover that she's not only a horrible person, but married, and using him when they finally have the opportunity to be together. That, sucks.

But what would he do with a do over? As a lover of the book, it's really hard for me to imagine this. How far would he go back to change things?

What if he never met Daisy? What if he never had "the one"? The story would be incredibly boring for one. For two, what is the point of it all then? Yes, he might not get heartbroken, he might avoid a lot of awkward conversations, and he probably wouldn't get shot at the end (sorry, spoiler), but what would all his success have been for?

I think F. Scott Fitzgerald was trying to teach us through Gatsby and Daisy that worldly possessions are nice, but what are they worth if you have no one to share it with?

It's interesting to imagine Gatsby still being the poor boy that he was meant to grow up as, and trying to win Daisy's affection still. As the person she grew up to be, she would never have even looked in his direction. But what then? Would he have ended up with someone else? Someone more real, down to earth, and sensible?

Gatsby's fears are realized at the end of the story, he dies alone. His chance with Daisy is gone. I like to think that if he had not attracted so much of that fear into his life, he may have had the opportunity to live happily.

All in all, if a do over was possible, this would not be the story we all know and love. I believe that is part of the lesson, things happen for a reason. There aren't always happy endings, and we have to learn to be okay with that because that's how life is.

Cover Image Credit: Wikipedia

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20 Times 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' Accurately Represented College Life

Unbreakable but rarely feeling that way... sums up college.

If you've never seen "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" on Netflix, it is definitely worth a watch! Funny and relatable characters deal with everyday problems as well as some pretty unique ones with humor and bravery. Though it's called "unbreakable" these characters totally relate to the same struggles us college kids experience on the daily. Here are 20 times "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" accurately represented college life.

1. When you first get on campus

2. When you consider going somewhere for dinner

3. Trying to meet new people like

4. When people are trying to hand you flyers around campus

5. Feeling like a grown up and hating it

6. Sitting through a vocab-heavy class

7. Walking through the rain across campus

8. When you have your second exam of the day

9. Discussing politics in class

10. When someone is being fake AF

11. Drinking for the first time

12. When you have to listen to a monotone lecture at 8 am

13. Feeling like you're in the wrong class

14. When you know you're gonna ace that test

15. Deciding to withdraw from the ATM

16. Stressed out during finals week

17. Getting put in groups for busy work in class

18. When your roommates are blasting music at 3 am on a Tuesday

19. When there is a ridiculously hard question on an exam

20. Finding your own voice for the first time

Cover Image Credit: Universal Television

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