8 Things I Learned After I Got My Heart Broken

8 Things I Learned After I Got My Heart Broken

This ain't no Taylor Swift song, ladies.
531
views

We've all been there: Crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's (my favorite is Half Baked) and torturing ourselves with romantic comedies just to cry over them or get irrationally angry. I mean, come on, Kate Hudson TRIED TO LOSE Matthew McConaughey, and they still end up happily ever after? Bullshit.

However, getting my heart broken was how I learned some of this life's more valuable lessons. I know, I know; I sound like your mom. Trust me, I feel like a mom as I preach these lessons to my friends whose hearts are getting broken. But just like, pretend I'm like Mrs. George, the Original Cool Mom™, from Mean Girls.

1. I am not a half waiting to find my match; I am whole on my own

When I told my dad this one, he said, "Obviously you're not half a person. That's scientifically impossible." But, I believed so deeply in the cliche that the person of my dreams, the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, was the missing piece of me. Getting my heart broken by someone with whom I so vividly saw the white picket fence and two kids dream made me realize that I am whole. Anyone I choose to spend my life with, romantic or platonic, is just going to add to everything I am because I am already complete.

2. You really can't love someone as much as you can miss them

It's a John Green quote that always seemed so stupid. But, as much as I loved my ex, the love I felt (and still do feel) for him did not even come close to the crushing pain I felt in the early days of our breakup. This doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can care so deeply for people that when you miss them even deeper you know you've found someone worth keeping around.

3. Hindsight truly is 20/20

At the time, I never saw all the red flags that would have lead me to the eventual conclusion that our relationship was never going to work out. So don't beat yourself up about not seeing those things - no one can, and it's not worth going through the "what ifs" and the "imagine ifs."

4. Strength is best found alone

I never ever would have learned how to be strong until my only option was to be strong on my own. That's not to say I (or anyone else) is ever truly alone, but having someone who was always there for me in every way a person can be didn't do me any favors in finding my strength. Since I have been alone and on the journey to ~finding myself~ I have found so much of my own strength and courage because I had no one to have those feelings for me.

5. I found my real friends

I know you think your real friends are the ones who say "fuck that guy!" after you break up, and I know some of my greatest friends have that mentality. But you will also find your friends who will gently (or not so gently) tell you how it really is, that you had as many faults in that relationship, and you have your fair share in it falling apart. Keep those friends close; they will keep you humble, and they will always keep you grounded.

6. I don't care what parts of me others don't like

Right after my ex and I broke up, I took all the parts of me he always complained about and exaggerated them a thousand times over. I was obnoxious, and I knew it. But because of that, I learned the important lesson about loving yourself in there. I learned not to hide away parts of myself just because people didn't like them. They were parts of me, and I am great, incredible, and majestic. If you don't like it, too bad.

7. I am so much more than "beautiful"

My ex was always very careful to compliment me on more than just my appearance, and when we broke up, it was so hard to believe he was being honest. Slowly, though, I learned that he was right. As I rededicated the time I was spending on him to my other hobbies and interests, I began to find my own confidence. I am smart, I am hardworking, and I don't need anyone to tell me. Confidence is a beautiful thing, ladies.

8. If I was so in love then, imagine how in love I'll be when I find "Mr. Right"

This was the biggest realization I had. I realized that (obviously) this relationship was over and that chapter of my love life was done. As devasted I was, I can only imagine how much happier I'll be when I find the person who God sent to spend the rest of his life with me. I was so in love then, and I can't wait to experience "match made in Heaven" happy, "soul mate" love, and actually having that white picket fence with two kids life.

Cover Image Credit: Kate Marlette

Popular Right Now

100 Of The Best Vines Of All Time

Hi, welcome to Chili's!
320100
views

Not to be dramatic, but the Vine app was the best thing to ever happen to me.

The Vine app truly understood me and my extremely odd sense of humor. When it was shut down, I felt like a part of me shut down with it. Luckily, I still have the ability to reflect on the good times that I had with Vine. Although there aren't any new Vine videos keeping my spirit alive, the Vine videos from the past are enough to keep me going.

This is way overdue, but here are the 100 best Vines to ever exist (in no particular order).

1. You better stop.

2. Come get y'all juice.

3. WTF is up Kyle.

4. That is NOT correct.

5. Mr. Postman.

6. Good evening.

7. This is your space, this is your area.

8. Honestly not sure what to title this one, but it's great so.

9. Someone help Elmo.

10. Pst...what?

11. Can I get a waffle?

12. Welcome back to Jesus Christ Hotline.

13. Oooooh, my boy going to school.

14. Lebron James.

15. #1 Dad.

16. Two bros chillin' in the hot tub.

17. Iz the fourth of July.

18. You have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine.

19. Tweaka Tweaka.

20. Hi, welcome to Chili's.

21. What up, I'm Jared.

22. If you wanna be a dog, RUFF.

23. When you think you look fresh, but your fish disagrees.

24. Rat in Walmart.

25. I'm dying... without me?

26. White ppl will turn anything into a casserole.

27. So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift.

28. You want a french fry? Eat a french fry.

29. ifyoulikemakingloveatmidnight.

30. Ms. Keisha.

31. Girl you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

32. My cinnamon apple.

33. Two shots of vodka.

34. Whoever threw that paper.

35. Wow.

36. Do the math.

37. Rip your face off.

38. Fed up teacher.

39. You can't kill me.

40. Look at me now snake.

41. Walking a duck.

42. No matter when you pause this one, it's hilarious.

43. I don't even understand this one.

44. I dropped my hot pocket.

45. I thought you were American.

46. I can't swim.

47. I wanna be a cowboy.

48. I look like Mona Lisa.

49. Look at this graph.

50. Yungman.

51. Squidward dabbing

52. Living with Nicholas Cage.

53. If Tinder had video profiles.

54. Why you always lying.

55. Chicken wing ch-chi-chicken wing.

56. Uh my chicle.

57. Love the Nickleback version.

58. Any excuse to nae nae.

59. I want to be famous.

60. That's my opinion.

61. There she goes.

62. I have to restart my potatoes.

63. And they don't stop coming.

64. Cat horn.

65. Who is she.

66. The bob.

67. Summertime.

68. Do I look like.

69. Nice Ron.

70. Mom hearing 'Only' by Nicki Minaj for the first time.

71. Happy fourth of July.

72. I'm washing me and my clothes.

73. Nickel the creatorback.

74. Give me your money.

75. U stoopid.

76. Shrek at school.

77. Patricia honey can you be quiet.

78. No baby.

79. You've got a big storm coming.

80. Out shopping with my coven.

81. Extreme makeover home edition.

82. They were roommates.

83. White girl trying to remember the day she was born.

84. xoxo, gossip girl.

85. Big time rush.

86. Scared grandma throwing milk.

87. Suicide fairy.

88. Zoey 101 microwave.

89. When you leave your makeup on after a night out.

90. Crazy skateboarding tricks.

91. Noodle head.

92. Under all that makeup.

93. Marriage goals.

94. Boy putting on lipstick.

95. When you walk past your friend's class.

96. Clear elevator jamming.

97. #RunningManChallenge

98. T-T-T-T-Target.

99. We all have a lot of laughs.

100. High school musical.

Honestly, I still can think of 100 more of the greatest vines of all time... but I guess I should stop now.

Cover Image Credit: NY Mag

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

12 Not-So-Boujee Must Haves For Your First Home/Apartment, If You Want To Actually Survive

Broom > Swiffer. Trust me.

283
views

Whether a college student or just moving into your first home or apartment, here is a list of things you probably didn't know you needed.

1. Shower Curtain Rod. 

In my furnished apartment, I was thinking the past tenant would have left this item. WRONG. Walmart is going to be your best bet for getting this, I went to at least three other stores first, and none of them had it so save yourself time and just go to Walmart.

2. Organizers. 

I was lucky enough to already have one. However, drawer organizers are so important. Not only do they save space for me in my apartment and on my desk, but it acts as my nightstand. Living on the fourth floor of my apartment, the last thing I wanted to do was haul a wooden nightstand up to my room. So get an organizer that has wheels, they usually have colored drawers so they can follow whatever color scheme you have going on.

3. Wall Decorations. 

I'm usually not one worried about decorating, but the walls will feel empty without even a cheap poster from Walmart or family photos. Something about decorating just really makes it feel more like home, than if you had just an empty room.

4. Oil Diffuser.

This was new to me. However, not only does my oil diffuser give a little extra light when it's on, but my room always smells amazing now, even if the rest of the house smells like food. Scentsy pots work too, but with the oil diffusers there's less mess and you can use oils similar to DoTerra for health and mood benefits.

5. Tinfoil. 

We all eat food. And let's be honest, college students are lazy and life is so much easier when you can just throw tinfoil on top of your dish and toss it in the fridge. Especially when you're in a hurry. Yes, that's also what Tupperware is for but you also can use it for cooking in the oven.

6. Rugs. 

Most kitchens are hardwood or tile of some sort, having a rug in front of the entrance and in front of the sink are essential to creating less mess to clean. We have a lot of guests in our apartment and since we don't have carpet anywhere but our rooms, it is tough to ask for shoes off so having a rug at the front door can cut down the amount of dirt tracked in.

7. Lamps. 

Lighting can be limited in rooms so it's nice to bring some sort of extra lighting. Either a stand up lamp or just a desk lamp can make a huge difference in the lighting of your room.

8. Dry Shampoo. 

This is less of a need for your home and more of a need for you. I have recently jumped on the dry shampoo trend and it's a life-saver. If you have a long night of studying or wake up late and don't have time to wash your hair, it's a great fix and easy way to keep from looking like you are losing your mind.

9. Extension Cords. 

If you didn't figure this out in a dorm, you are now. Outlets can be in inconvenient places, and as a college student, you have to have space to plug in a laptop, printer, phone, lamps, and anything else that you need to plug in. Extension cords and power strips will solve that problem.

10. Broom. 

Yes, a broom. Not a swiffer. Sadly, if you have more dirt than dust, a swiffer will do you no good. You can get a cheap broom at just about any store that carries any cleaning supplies.

11. Paper Towel Holder. 

I mean you could go without but it does make things more convenient. Also looks nicer than just having a roll of paper towels sitting on the counter.

12. Cooking Oil. 

Super easy to forget, but used more often than you think. Cooking oil is used for so many things, and if you have a kitchen, make sure you have it. Nothing is worse than having a meal planned and finding out you don't have cooking oil.

Related Content

Facebook Comments